tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-47532262488280167622024-03-05T12:54:43.835-08:00I was wreckless, you were free.Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.comBlogger119125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-42472006323319669222014-09-02T15:20:00.003-07:002014-09-02T15:33:05.417-07:00Hero Walk for St Wilfrid's Hospice: My Personal Hero<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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The Wikipedia definition of 'hero' is: <i>"a hero or heroine refers to characters who, in the face of danger and adversity or from a position of weakness, display courage and the will for self sacrifice - that is, heroism - for some greater good of all humanity." </i></div>
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When I found out that St Wilfrid's Hospice have arranged a '<a href="http://www.stwhospice.org/fundraising/events/hero-walk.asp" target="_blank">Hero Walk</a>' for 21st September, it got me thinking about my own personal hero. Sure, I could write about my Mum & Dad but they both get quite emotional whenever I'm nice to them (I spent years torturing them with mood swings) or I could write about John Lennon, but I'd only need to include the link to the 'Imagine' video for you to understand the hype surrounding him.<br />
No, my own personal hero is...somebody who does all of the above Wikipedia definition, every single day. They're somebody who is teaching me how to do the above, too:<br />
<br />
Dear Carrie Lloyd (you've always said you dislike sentences that begin with your name, but see this as an online letter, almost. Go with it, please),<br />
<br />
It's October 2010, I'm 17 and reading an article, on random acts of kindness, that you've just tweeted. I have no idea who you are (yet) but I know that your writing evoked something in me that I didn't quite understand; I think it was probably the first time I ever *truly* connected to a handful of words thrown together on a page.<br />
<br />
I replied to your tweet and we exchanged contact details. I sent you some of my writing and you replied with an e-mail, the size of War and Peace, that remains to be the most treasured piece of feedback I've received. Ever since, I've struggled with criticism when others give it to me because it's never as nicely packages as your's.<br />
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In the four years that have followed our first e-mail exchange, our connection has become stronger and much more powerful; you guided me through my first bout of heartbreak, my last years of education and making a decision as big as moving to London, alone, at the age of 18. Alongside all of this, you've never once asked me to stop sending you e-mails with my writing attached, begging for feedback.<br />
My inbox is at it's best when it includes an unread message from you...I'm at my best when I read that message.<br />
<br />
Our first phone call involved you going to the toilet, whilst in the middle of an in depth conversation. Our first meeting saw you introduce me to red wine and promptly eat all of the pitta we were supposed to be sharing. Soon, I not only began to see you as my writing mentor (a title you've had very little say in) but a friend, as well.<br />
<br />
There are three moments in our friendship that stand out for me, that I think completely warrant the title of a 'hero'. You're going to disagree, because you're not very good at receiving compliments...<br />
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<b>1) The conversation we had in which you told me you were moving to America.</b><br />
Your faith is quite a large part of you, just like my feet are for me. It's never been something you've shied away from or denied, choosing instead or make the most out of what can be an awkward conversation. From the very beginning, you chose to explain your faith to me in a way that almost made me want to read the Bible from cover to cover: it's just about <b>love</b>.<br />
So when you told me you were moving to America, to study at Bethel School of Supernatural Ministry, it made perfect sense. Your purpose is so obvious, it's almost blinding, and in you doing something to fulfill it only provides me with a level of admiration I have for very few people.<br />
Leaving behind a career, friends and family and a very cute dog to do exactly what you've been put on this Earth to do must be quite daunting. What happens if you get there and you decide you much prefer spending your Thursday evenings, sinking vino in the pub with your mates? But you've made it work, Carrie, and that gives me so much hope for what I believe to be my own purpose.<br />
<br />
<b>2) The WhatsApp message you sent me, announcing you were being published*.</b><br />
The time difference between America and the UK can make our communications quite infrequent. Add to that both of us having crazy busy workloads, social lives to maintain and writing to do, it's safe to say we probably spent a lot of time meaning to contact each other but never quite doing so. Until September 2013.<br />
I was sat in Hamburg airport, having just spent three days meeting one side of my family I'd never met. My brother and his girlfriend had announced they were expecting a baby. I'd drank enough German beer and eaten enough pretzels to last anyone a lifetime. There was so much I wanted to discuss with you but having had no Wifi made that impossible. It wasn't until I connected to the hotels internet that I realised you had already sent me a message. A message that simply said "I'M GOING TO BE A PUBLISHED AUTHOR!!! XXXX" - I couldn't contain my excitement, spilling Coca Cola all over the table and forgetting just where I was.<br />
This was everything we'd spent the previous three years talking about and I honestly couldn't be more proud of you.<br />
<br />
* Carrie's book, <a href="http://www.authenticmedia.co.uk/search/product/virgin-monologues-the-carrie-lloyd/9781860249297.jhtml;TCSC=D5EA45361BB5972D30B717A82FF0950D.jvm1" target="_blank">The Virgin Monologue</a>s, is out in November and I think you should all buy a copy.<br />
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<b>3)</b> <b>May 2012, June 2013 and July 2014</b><br />
<b>May</b> - I had just started a new job, I was finding my feet in London and was 100% sure I had made the wrong decision; you spent two hours on the phone to me, talking about everything from bitter brides to how best to enjoy myself at work. You gave me pointers on dealing with bitchiness in the office. Which nail varnish to wear with a particular outfit. Just why I shouldn't give up on a situation that was so obviously meant to be. I hung up, went and ate a load of Chinese food and never once regretted my decision again.<br />
<b>June</b> - after spending a year embracing a new writing adventure, it came to a particularly upsetting end and again, I started to doubt myself regarding my writing. Once again (there seems to be a reoccurring theme here), you phoned me and mocked me for getting a tattoo I probably shouldn't have got, told me to cry a bit more and then move on from it. That phone call made the world of difference and I suddenly didn't feel so bad; that's one of the many powers you have which I'm yet to get my head around, but you can utter one word and I'm back in the right mind frame again.<br />
<b>July</b> - you were visiting the UK for the summer and I filled your phone with text after text after WhatsApp message after e-mail on details of every single aspect of whatever was clouding my brain. Your responses came at a time when I have never felt more alone, when I needed somebody to literally pick me up, shake up and tell me to get my act together. Which is exactly what you did, except virtually and in a nicer manner.<br />
<br />
You encourage me to be courageous, to show the world exactly what I have to offer; to never apologise for being sensitive or inquisitive or for making mistakes. You remind me, on a daily basis, that I have so much of the world to see and articles to read and people to meet. To not rush the time I've been given and to appreciate it every single step of the way.<br />
You've never once told me off or encouraged me to cloud my judgement with negativity, something that can be so easily done.<br />
You provide me with inspiration by the bucket load and your name is the name I'm most excited to write on the 'Dedications' page of my first book.<br />
<br />
The invitation to the Hero Walk, mentioned above, invites you to "<i>join hundreds of others descending on Eastbourne's beautiful seafront for this 10km (or 5km) challenge, dressed as, or walking for the hero of your choice</i>."<br />
Now, whilst I do think it'd be amazing to wear Carrie's Louboutins for 24 hours, I'm not taking part in the Hero Walk, but if I was, then I would 100% be walking for everything Carrie has instilled in me over the last four years: the phone conversations, the mentality, the life lessons, the text messages, the e-mails, the songs, the book recommendations and the memories we're yet to make.<br />
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I might not be walking for you, Carrie, but I promise I will be making you proud...and I do still expect you to buy me bubbles...<br />
<br />
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Love always,</div>
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Vic xxx</div>
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-25412690198569145162014-07-30T11:44:00.001-07:002014-07-30T11:44:17.402-07:00"So what happens after he climbs up and rescues her?" "She rescues him right back."<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
In 'Pretty Woman', when Richard Gere shows up outside Julia Robert's apartment, facing his fear of heights and clutching a bouquet of roses between his teeth, I suppose the aim of the scene was to make women all over the world melt into their seats and curse their partners for not reaching the same levels of romance. And whilst some girls probably "aww"'ed, it actually made me heave a little. Am I a cynic for saying it didn't have the desired effect on me?<br />
Maybe it's because I'm more of a Hugh Grant fan, instead?<br />
<br />
Whatever the reason for my lack of emotion, I can't help but feel sorry for those girls who place ridiculous expectations on their boyfriends; not everybody is going to have the amount of money that Richard Gere possesses, others might require hypnotherapy before curing such extreme fears and well, other men might just be lazy.<br />
<br />
For 21 years, give or take, I've been over the moon when a man has done something as simple as buy me a drink. The idea that a woman would place every single one of her expectations on a man who she has only known a short time confused me. What about her career? Her ambition?<br />
<br />
Needless to say, I haven't climbed very far up the relationship ladder. Still though, I always assumed that when the time was right, I would meet somebody who wasn't phased by my lack of interest in a relationship, and could deal with my always-dramatic mood swings.<br />
Continuing with this assumption, I've been happy drinking the drinks men bought me and flirting with them until the inevitable "I only live around the corner..." popped into the conversation. Even though, nine times of ten, that corner was usually an hour away.<br />
<br />
It wasn't until recently that I realised I've never really been shown the "How To" guide on dating; not that that's anybody's fault but isn't there a list of rules we're supposed to be following, in order for us to achieve the golden status? The 'married with 2.4 kids and a white picket fence' status? If there is, I've definitely missed out. Is there a Facebook page on it?<br />
I have no idea how to date, how long to wait before I let somebody see me naked, what to even do when that topic gets brought up...up until now, I've always downed whatever I've been drinking at the time and hoped for the best.<br />
But then, we never really get given a "How To" guide on life, do we? So, just like our everyday existence, does the same apply for our relationships? Just keep our fingers crossed, submit our CVs to a few potential places and hope that one of them calls you back for a second interview?<br />
<br />
In Caitlin Moran's latest novel 'How To Build a Girl', the main character, Johanna Morrigan, goes on a long and eventful adventure in order to build her own 'How To' guide. She sleeps with people she shouldn't be sleeping with, works out the best way to embarrass yourself on national television and builds herself upon a foundation of her heroes. All before she realises it's going to take more than that to make her fall in love with herself.<br />
I haven't embarrassed myself on national television (although through social media, I'm pretty sure rather questionable photos have been 'leaked'), I've definitely got down and dirty with people I shouldn't have even been talking too and, God, if I even began building myself from building blocks made from my heroes, I'd be a mess by tomorrow lunchtime.<br />
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The very subtle point Moran was making throughout the book was that it takes more than one attempt at the above to work out who you are. And to work out how to love that person.<br />
It takes an absolute tonne of attempts and it's definitely not for the fainthearted:<br /><br />
<i>"So what do you do when you build yourself - only to realise you built yourself up with the wrong things? You rip it up and start again...and you will be quite on your own when you do all this. There is no academy where you can learn to be yourself; there is no line manager, slowly urging you towards the correct answer. You are midwife to yourself, and will give birth to yourself, over and over, in dark rooms, alone."</i><br />
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I would never expect somebody to love me, if I couldn't even love myself; if I hated myself for saying I liked a band based on somebody else's interests, how could I expect somebody else to like that?<br />So whilst we may not be presented with a 'How To' guide on relationships and dating, it's because we're still writing our 'How To' on just...being. When we're comfortable and content with who our favourite bands are and whether we're sleeping with somebody because we really, really like them or simply just for attention, the other guides start to write themselves.<br />
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Maybe Julia Roberts didn't really want to be in a relationship at the start of 'Pretty Woman', but experiencing things with Richard Gere made her realise she did. Because, she had ripped up the version of herself that knew how to live without him and wrote herself a new version of, well, her, including him, and it read much better.<br />
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I suppose these 'How To' guides are simply that: a guide. And who says what's right or wrong? We're our own authors.<br />
Maybe I shouldn't feel sorry for those girls who place every single ounce of their being on a relationship, because they probably feel sorry for me, when they see me drinking drinks bought for me by men I don't know.<br />
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Whether you want your very own Richard Gere or you're trying to be Richard Gere yourself, this 'How To' guide is awfully time-consuming and thirsty work; whilst I'm trying to write my own guide, I'm going to keep accepting those drinks bought for me and try to cut down on those mood swings.<br />
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The moral of this blog is that I'm 99% sure Julia Roberts only had two mood swings throughout the entire film...nobody should be expected to deal with that.<br />
So let's just finish writing our own 'How To' guides before we base our happy endings on somebody else's story.<br />
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-36635170050869921322014-06-20T13:30:00.001-07:002014-06-20T14:56:00.994-07:00"Our world revolves around iTunes and Instagram, narcotics and Netflix." - Paris Lees<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Macbooks. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Pythagorean Theorem. Microsoft Excel. The perfect cheese sauce. Covalent Bonds. To Kill a Mockingbird. Shakespeare; these are just a few of the things I can remember learning about in my five years at secondary school. Have any of them come in handy?<br />
To an extent, yes.<br />
I mean, I'm yet to perfect a macaroni cheese so the cheese sauce is out of the window, but I know how to right click when I'm using my MacBook and that's pretty much all that matters...<br />
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From the hours of 4pm to 5:10pm today, I spent my time engrossed in this article: <a href="http://www.vice.com/en_uk/read/millenials-libertarianism-ed-milliband-welfare-state?utm_source=vicefbuk">Millennials are Idiots</a>. I should have been working, but the heading caught my eye. <i>Am I an idiot? </i><br />
Many of you will be pleased to know that after reading the article, I decided that, yes, yes I am an idiot.<br />
So I made that decision (mainly so you wouldn't have to do it for me) and whilst I could have got upset and refused to move from my bed until I knew the periodic table off by heart, I could recite 'War and Peace' at the drop of a hat and my brain had swollen to twice it's usual size, I chose, instead, to press the 'X' button on the article and pack my desk up for the day.<br />
In the words of Jerry Lewis, "I've had great success being a total idiot."<br />
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I passed my GCSEs with flying colours, I have A Levels and I've somehow managed to convince a company to employ me; I'm doing okay.<br />
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But then it's not necessarily the 'book smart' idiocy that's bugging me; as much as I would love to spend my days dissecting Tolstoy novels, that type of knowledge comes with wisdom, experience and maturity. I've got a lot to learn...<br />
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No, the thing that's bugging me is that I know very little about the world around me. Around us. I'm speaking on behalf of myself here so as not to offend anyone, but I wouldn't know where to start when it comes down to mortgages. I couldn't tell you about credit ratings, political parties, tax evasion or the NHS (except I know we're very lucky to have them).<br />
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Instead, I can tell you every single filter used on Instagram. I can tell you why social media is becoming more and more powerful by the day. Which angle to take the perfect 'selfie' from. How much a large glass of wine is in a typical London pub. How many Jagerbombs you can get for a tenner in your local Whetherspoons.<br />
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Whilst I know for a fact that many 'millennials' know plenty about the 'important' aspects of our generation, such as politics, environmental issues and financial news, I can guarantee that more will have information on the latter half of those subjects.<br />
And is that a bad thing? Do I blame my parents for allowing me to spend some of my free time, growing up, on a computer instead of practising my knowledge on Tony Blair? Or is it down to me, for being lazy?<br />
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I'm yet to decide.<br />
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Whilst the world of some 18 - 25 year olds does tend to revolve around who's topping Radio 1's chart show on a Sunday evening, how many 'likes' we've received on our latest 'scenic' picture of the London skyline, the percentage of our wage packet which can be spent on shit cocaine and which episode of Orange is the New Black we're now watching, there's a healthy balance who think about recycling, their pension fund and whether they're left or right wing.<br />
Why do we have to be one or the other? Why can't we just be in the middle?<br />
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So, as brilliant as that article by Paris Lees is, I couldn't help but be slightly offended. Not only on behalf of myself, but on behalf of my friends who would rather watch Newsnight than down shots in a bar, the 21 year olds who dedicate every ounce of their free time flyering for their chosen political party, the people who have worked their arses off since they hit legal working age to save up and make something off themselves, without having to rely on anybody else.<br />
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I feel sorry for them because these millenials are being tarnished with the same brush: "<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24.375px;">Millenials don’t care if we’re fighting a gay person or a black person or a fucking Sims character for that last slice so long as we have the freedom to snatch a crumb or two for ourselves."</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; line-height: 24.375px;">But the truth is, a lot of us do care. A lot of us do want to work on 'changing the world' (or at least the small part around us), making it a better place.</span><br />
We grew up on a diet of the Spice Girls, Fresh Prince of Bel Air and turkey twizzlers (well, until Jamie Oliver took them away from us); we understand equal rights, freedom of speech and perfecting the balance between good and bad - I mean, the Spice Girls may have released 'Wannabe' and 'Say You'll Be There', but they also released 'Holler' and 'Headlines'...swings and roundabouts, m'friend.<br />
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We might know very little about how lucky we are to have smartphones, to have internet access whenever we need it, to having parents who are willing to sell their kidneys rather than see us struggle during the last week before payday.<br />
But we're not idiots.<br />
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We know how to use those smartphones, to make the internet as beneficial as possible (minus porn. I do not agree with porn) - I should use Justin Bieber here as an example, but I don't really feel as though it sets the tone I'm going for - and when we're rich and famous thanks to whatever social media trend has taken over, our parents will know how thankful we were for their last pennies because they'll have books dedicated to them, film credits with their names in and songs written about them.<br />
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So, yes, Paris Lees, millenials might be stupid, but we're really, really good at it.<br />
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-88317486821929506072014-05-26T07:59:00.003-07:002014-05-26T07:59:54.183-07:0013 Things To Make Your Hangover From Hell SO Much Better...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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If a Bank Holiday means the same to you as it does to me, I'm going to assume everybody reading this is still having to wear sunglasses to open the fridge. A fridge that was full to the brim with alcohol on Friday afternoon and come Monday morning, houses one lonely lettuce, mayonnaise and something suspicious that was made at 6:30am on Saturday morning.<br />
Bank Holidays were made for fun. They were not made for spending 36 hours in bed and consuming three bottles of full fat Coke. But, you know what? We can't change that. It's happened.<br />
The weight you've gained from doing nothing all weekend will haunt you for the next two weeks and the stupid things you text to your entire phonebook on Friday night will get you some funny looks at work for a really long time...it's okay though, 'cause I've come up with a list of 13 things that will make your Bank Holiday antics so much easier to deal with:<br />
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<b>1) Watch your favourite band perform live (via YouTube).</b><br />Seriously, stick on festival highlights from 2010 and reminisce on a time when alcohol didn't leave you broken. Instead, it aided the best weekend of your life; watching Arctic Monkeys perform to a field full of randoms, each person holding a pint of Strongbow and grimacing every time somebody hit their sunburn.<br />
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<b>2) Turn your phone off.</b><br />
Okay, I know this is going to be a hard one but during the messy alcohol haze, you sent selfies to your Manager, your best friends and somebody you slept with when you first moved to London. You text at least four people telling them you love them (but not in a 'lez' way) and you Instagram'ed two pictures with a woman with gold teeth. <br />Cut yourself some slack and give yourself a break. Delete every single awkward message, remove all evidence that alcohol had taken hold of your body from social media and SWITCH YOUR PHONE OFF. You do not need to see what people are going to be replying to you, especially not in this state.<br />
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<b>3. Surround yourself with people in the same state.</b><br />
Luckily for me, my housemates were all feeling exactly the same as me and I have never been more grateful. Sit in the garden, share a hair of the dog and laugh about avoiding your next door neighbour. Talk rubbish and make pacts to never have a party at your house again.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Failing that, surround yourself with people who make you feel good.</b><br />
You do not need to be reminded of the state you were in the night before. Before following point two, call somebody who makes you feel like you can walk on water, even when you can barely walk. Get them to sing down the phone to you, ask them to list a few reasons as to why they love you. You'll feel so much more motivated, despite the quantity of rum you drank the night before.<br />
<br />
<b>5. EAT!</b><br />
Oh God...eating. This dangerous subject. If you're anything like me, food is the last thing you need. But I'm learning that, seriously, it will make you feel so much better.<br />Raid the freezer for whatever frozen food your housemates have stocked up on, throw some potato waffles into the oven and be prepared to be fixed.<br />
<br />
<b>6. DO NOT phone your parents.</b><br />
Your parents might seem like the most sensible point of call - who else to make you feel better than your Mum? But phoning them is not a good idea. They do not need to know that you're suffering from the world's worst hangover, that you house turned into Ministry of Sound for the night and you're worried you kissed somebody you shouldn't have...<br />
<br />
<b>7. Hydrate</b><br />
Waking up with a mouth as dry as Gandhi's flip-flop is probably the worst way to start a hangover. Regardless of how drunk you are, make sure you put a glass of water next to your bed before you go to sleep. If you don't remember, ask your housemates too. <br />Drink every possible non-alcoholic/harmful liquid you can find. You will thank your lucky stars for the coconut water in the fridge the next morning.<br />
<br />
<b>8. Shower.</b><br />Oh good Lord, if I had known how good a hair wash on a hangover would feel when I first started drinking, I swear I would never have got out of the shower. There is nothing like washing away the dirt from the night before and smelling as fresh as a daisy...even if you don't look like one.<br />
<br />
<b>9. Cuddle a baby.</b><br />
Any baby will do, it doesn't matter. Luckily, my housemate has a baby boy so cuddles are on tap in my house. Make sure you're sitting down and that your teeth have been cleaned - nobody needs the smell of stale booze and cigarettes on their face, especially when they can't tell you it's horrible.<br />
<br />
<b>10. Take your make-up off.</b><br />
If you failed to do so the night before, grab a wet wipe and scrub your face until it's red raw. Remove every inch of make-up you threw onto your face when you were sober and wash your face properly. Spots, and dry skin, will not make you feel any better about yourself.<br />
<br />
<b>11. Avoid dairy.</b><br />
Dairy on a hangover is not the one. Regardless of how badly you're craving that tub of Ben & Jerry's you have stashed in the freezer, ice-cream will only curdle with the other substances you have in your body.<br />
<br />
<b>12. Tea, cheesy films and bed.</b><br />
So if you really want to have dairy, make sure it's in tea. I never fully understood why adults drink so much of the stuff, but as I've worked out, it's a fucking excellent hangover cure. <br />A cup of strong tea with two sugars and a splash of milk will do more for your body than whoever you dry humped the night before.<br />
<br />
<b>13. SLEEP!!</b><br />Made plans for the rest of the Bank Holiday? Cancel them. Seriously, cancel them all. <br />Retreat to your bed (after you've washed, eaten and had other people make you laugh, obviously) and don't get out until you feel capable of fixing the world's problems.<br />
You may have ruined your life the night before, but eight hours of shut eye will fix it.<br />
<br />
Happy hangover guys, x<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-68831851894508402582014-04-26T05:45:00.002-07:002014-04-26T05:45:45.549-07:00"Write a poem about me", you said.<br />
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"Write a poem about me", you said.</div>
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It's 5:27am and I have never been happier</div>
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I think that's because of you.</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-44615583470142006782014-04-26T05:35:00.002-07:002014-04-26T05:35:42.617-07:0019 // 19You're fickle. <div>
When we sleep, you stretch onto my side of the bed.</div>
<div>
Your Instagram does nothing but annoy me.</div>
<div>
Your music taste changes on a daily basis, I can never keep up.</div>
<div>
I do not need fixing.</div>
<div>
We get into trouble when we're together. </div>
<div>
I can't rely on you for emotional stability. </div>
<div>
We covered up whatever it was we were hiding with alcohol, drugs and bad jokes.</div>
<div>
You're emotionally manipulative. </div>
<div>
I call you when I'm lonely.</div>
<div>
Your driving leaves me terrified.</div>
<div>
You're better at a lot of things than I am and I don't like competition.</div>
<div>
I don't like competition.</div>
<div>
You are a threat to everything I once stood for.</div>
<div>
We could never be 'normal', everything is a show.</div>
<div>
My eyes never had your full attention.</div>
<div>
You're looking for a love that doesn't fail, like your parents did.</div>
<div>
There is always going to be somebody better, for both of us.</div>
<div>
We never understood each other's families.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
We take our tea the same way. </div>
<div>
And eat the same biscuits.</div>
<div>
You are the song I put on 'repeat' at 8:43am.</div>
<div>
You're the start, the middle and the end of a dream I don't want to wake up from.</div>
<div>
Every single one of my secrets, you know, and yet you still want to kiss me.</div>
<div>
Texts saying "I love you" sent at exactly the right time.</div>
<div>
Laying next to you was just like the Snow Patrol song.</div>
<div>
You never once doubted my dreams.</div>
<div>
Our sleeping pattern was so in sync.</div>
<div>
I learnt so much from your silence.</div>
<div>
It took me nine minutes to get to your house and 13 minutes to get into your bed.</div>
<div>
You are the easiest person to be around. </div>
<div>
We are the only people who think each other's tattoos are works of art.</div>
<div>
I dropped every single one of my bad habits and picked up you, instead.</div>
<div>
You never once asked me to explain myself.</div>
<div>
I never considered myself a failure because I always succeeded in your eyes. </div>
<div>
We found comfort in each other's flaws.</div>
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Time was never an issue: you loved me from 4am to 3:59am. </div>
<div>
You loved me.</div>
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<br /></div>
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</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-53944812123937384092014-04-19T14:35:00.003-07:002014-04-19T14:35:27.812-07:00<div>
P O S I T I V E</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
how do you write something about someone who isn't trying to fuck you up? </div>
<div>
i'm still learning - like i always will be - about how to do things right. how to write. </div>
<div>
and it's only when i'm sat in a reggae club at 1:45am, with strange substances swirling around my body,</div>
<div>
that i can be honest. truly honest. mainly about how i'm so scared i'm going to mess things up.</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
because good, healthy relationships are something i've never had.</div>
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not really.</div>
<div>
so as i'm learning to do things right, properly,</div>
<div>
just bear with me.</div>
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<br /></div>
<div>
i promise the weird freak outs and my ability to only be nice when i'm drunk will all be worth something soon. when your name is written in big letters on the first page of my book, under the word 'dedications', which will be written in bold italics (calibri), that's my way of saying "thank you for the being the only person who has ever bought me a birthday balloon."</div>
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Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-49244566588405364512014-03-25T14:28:00.000-07:002014-03-25T14:33:04.051-07:00"Does growing up mean growing apart?" - Goose - Dawn O'Porter<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbuoZeGB046iO6p2YRBpLnZ1mZpZUEgKYfFVgB-C0Iz9Aa7-v5BHXLem6aOMHW3wUFlJkqL1XbxwSyu6kbMnKxhRAnoqUtNTzI9LMoKHQFQfRuXP_2vEPBL9ZJ74c2ZyRW_aH-Xaxl8ZE/s1600/goose.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjbuoZeGB046iO6p2YRBpLnZ1mZpZUEgKYfFVgB-C0Iz9Aa7-v5BHXLem6aOMHW3wUFlJkqL1XbxwSyu6kbMnKxhRAnoqUtNTzI9LMoKHQFQfRuXP_2vEPBL9ZJ74c2ZyRW_aH-Xaxl8ZE/s1600/goose.jpg" height="320" width="262" /></a></div>
<br />
It's always hard writing about something that plays such a huge role in your life; for me, I can never find the right words to express how passionate I am about something and, in turn, end up ruining up whatever it was that I was trying to say.<br />
However, I was recently given the opportunity to review Dawn O'Porter's latest novel, '<i>Goose</i>', and I promised myself that I wouldn't mess it up.<br />
<br />
Dawn is one of my biggest writing inspirations; she has been since I first read her material in Stylist magazine, so obviously it's a pretty big thing, for me, writing about her words. Let's see if I can do them justice...<br />
<br />
From about the age of four, friendship is a huge part of any girl's life. If you're lucky, you could manage to stay friends with the same girl who you shared a book with in nursery - despite the obvious differences between you as you grow up. Or, you might find new friends, every week. <br />
Regardless of the longevity of a friendship, every girl will understand the importance of their best friend. She's the person you call when you've got your boy troubles, your partner in crime when you're up to no good and your cheerleader when you're feeling a bit rubbish.<br />
<br />
'<i>Paper Aeroplanes</i>', the prequel to '<i>Goose</i>', introduced me to two people who reminded me so much of my best friend and myself that I almost felt as though Dawn O'Porter had been spying on me since birth.<br />
When I finished '<i>Paper Aeroplanes</i>', I didn't quite know what to do with myself for a little while. I found myself wondering, every so often, what both Renee and Flo would be doing: had Flo lost her virginity? Did Renee make peace with her sister? Had they made friends in their new school?<br />
When I received '<i>Goose</i>', I wanted to know the answers to those questions so badly, I finished the book within a day; there are obvious differences between the two books, but both are written so beautifully and capture the innocence of a teenage friendship so perfectly, O'Porter's writing made me want to go back to school and relive the beginning of some of my best friendships all over again...almost, I'm not sure I could handle double Science lessons again.<br />
<br />
When you leave school, you realise that a lot tends to change within the first few months, mainly to do with friendships. As relationships and University/the future start to become priorities, friendships come to an end under the pressure of reality, outside of school. '<i>Goose</i>' explores this intensely and I cannot credit O'Porter enough for capturing this transition so perfectly.<br />
Both Renee and Flo are changing, since leaving school, and although it's in different ways, their friendship remains as strong as ever...or so it seems.<br />
<br />
Flo begins to call her faith to help her through this particularly hard time and finds peace in religion. Renee finds sex. And plenty of it.<br />
Already, the changes both Flo and Renee are undergoing could not be more different and as the book continues, we soon question whether the girls' friendship can withstand such changes.<br />
At a time when you're desperately trying to find yourself, your best friend is the biggest comfort. However, Renee falls for Dean, who we're introduced to at the beginning of the book, and Flo thinks she could be falling for Gordon, the leader of a bible group she joins.<br />
I don't know about other readers, but I instantly disliked both boys; maybe it's because I could see the distance they were placing between Renee and Flo or maybe it's because I felt as though neither were good enough for the girls. Whatever the reason, O'Porter tackles the issue of 'young love' so well, I almost wish she had been present during my first bout of heartbreak.<br />
<br />
It's not only relationship issues that cause trouble between our two protagonists; family issues, school work and impending plans soon raise their head to create more negativity between the two girls.<br />
Not only did O'Porter make me wish that '<i>Goose</i>' had been written four years previous, so I could use it as a manual when undergoing these sort of changes myself, but I wanted to reach into the pages and tell both Renee and Flo to stop taking each other for granted.<br />
I am so lucky that some of my best friendships have withstood the trials of time and whilst reading 'Goose', I grabbed my phone after every couple of pages to remind my closest pals of how much I loved them for putting up with me.<br />
<br />
I believe this is one of the main reasons as to why '<i>Goose</i>' struck such a chord with me; it's real, raw and realistic. Every girl can resonate with the friendship set out between Renee and Flo, especially throughout the book. <br />
'<i>Goose</i>' embraces all of the issues the majority of girls have to go through as they grow up and it teaches us to disregard the embarrassment, or taboo, that comes attached to them.<br />
O'Porter doesn't shy away from any topic, ranging from 'fanny farts' to wanting a boy who doesn't want you back. In today's 'cotton wool culture', it's rare to see such topics dissected in such detail but boy, am I glad they are.<br />
<br />
Growing up, I never once read a book that tackled what I was thinking in as much detail as '<i>Goose</i>' does; it doesn't hold back on the frustrations, or the beauty, of a realistic teenage life. This is something O'Porter manages to capture excellently within her writing; it's the reason '<i>Paper Aeroplanes</i>' was such as a hit and it is the reason why 'Goose' will be flying off of bookshop's shelves.<br />
<br />
In my opinion, I loved seeing how much the girls change from the start of the book to the end; Flo changes dramatically, from finding a relationship with God to making other friends, outside of her friendship with Renee. She develops a confidence that is so raw and fresh, it made Flo's journey almost addictive. Her need for 'something more' is so apparent, you can't help but read on.<br />
<br />
Renee's journey, on the other hand, is one that is quite simple: she will always want more. She is never satisfied by what she has, apart from her friendship with Flo, that everything begins to seem inferior. It takes a dramatic event in the book - which I won't ruin for those who are yet to read the book - for her to realise her friendship with Flo is more important than a relationship with a boy, 'cool' new people and sex.<br />
<br />
The relationship between Renee and Flo does start to disintegrate throughout '<i>Goose</i>' but by this point, most readers are already hooked. We've all been there, we've all lost - or started to lose - a best friend because of our own ignorance and thankfully, O'Porter manages to cease any potential heartbreak.<br />
Renee and Flo's friendship becomes more 'adult', more serious; less 'you're my best friend because you helped me when I was drunk' and more 'you're my best friend because I actually don't know how to live without you'.<br />
Both girls are looking for something outside of their friendship, that they soon realise lies in each other.<br />
<br />
The contrast between the girls is huge and quite extraordinary; Renee and Flo find confidence in different things (faith vs boys, school vs adventure etc) and their friendship is a constant reminder that sometimes, the simplicity of a friendship can be the most beautiful thing about it.<br />
<br />
Despite the second half of the book seeming almost rushed - or maybe I just wanted it to go on for much longer? - compared to the first half, '<i>Goose</i>' combined being perfectly complex and flawlessly simple in one go. There's something about the voices of the main characters that is almost addictive; I didn't want the book to finish because I wanted to find out how Renee and Flo's friendship develops.<br />
<br />
Whilst the plot does get thicker as the story unfolds, there are moments of lucidity that remind us what the book is all about: a friendship that withstands the true tests of reality, despite everything being against it.<br />
Having finished the book, there are moments every so often when I close my eyes and I'm reminded of Renee's birth control situation, Flo using Dirty Dancing as a seduction technique and Aunty Jo's geese.<br />
Not many books have the power to continue captivating their audience once they've finished, but this is something I am in total awe of Dawn O'Porter for being able to do.<br />
<br />
I would be quite happy to lose myself in Renee and Flo's world over and over again; one of my favourite things about the book was how it kept reminding me not to take my own friendships for granted, how lost I would be without one of my best friends and how tough it was growing up.<br />
I can safely say that I don't know who I would have become if it wasn't for my own friendships like Renee and Flo's, and I recommend '<i>Goose</i>' to every single woman - regardless of age - out there. In actual fact, I'd recommend it to boys too because it doesn't matter which gender you are, friendship is something we shouldn't take for granted. Ever.<br />
<br />
Dawn O'Porter deserves a huge amount of acclaim for this brilliant, brilliant book; I want to drink cocktails with her and continuously thank her for creating such an amazing piece of writing.<br />
Not many people have a way with words like O'Porter does but, as most of her writing seems to do, '<i>Goose</i>' has left me speechless.<br />
When I grow up, I want to be Dawn O'Porter, please.<br />
<br />
Find Dawn O'Porter on Twitter: <a href="http://www.twitter.com/hotpatooties">www.twitter.com/hotpatooties</a><br />
Order 'Goose' (or 'Paper Aeroplanes') here: <a href="http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/dawn+o27porter/goose3a+a+renee+26+flo+novel/10124935/" target="_blank">http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/dawnoporter/goose</a> OR here: <a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goose-Paper-Aeroplanes-Dawn-OPorter/dp/1471400638/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1395783123&sr=8-1&keywords=goose" target="_blank">http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goose-Paper-Aeroplanes-Dawn-OPorter</a><br />
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-27070536082054818812014-02-26T12:07:00.001-08:002014-02-26T12:07:26.077-08:002:53am<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
You can't force yourself to love someone.</div>
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You can't sleep with them to "see what it feels like", </div>
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especially when they've told you on numerous occasions that </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
they love you. </div>
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They love you at 2:53am, they love you when you've taken too many drugs and can't walk properly, </div>
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they love you when it's time to go to the party and when it's</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
time to leave. </div>
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They love you when you're sat in Nando's on a Saturday afternoon.</div>
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<br /></div>
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You can't sleep with them, to see whether you can love them back. Love doesn't mean exchanging </div>
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bodily fluids...at least, </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
I hope it doesn't.</div>
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-86035693030454616352014-02-17T14:11:00.003-08:002014-02-17T14:11:25.101-08:00more than friends.<br />
<br />
<br />
You don't spend days in bed with *just*...anyone?<br />
I don't let *just* anyone see me when I'm sick.<br />
The reality is we just fuck. With each other's<br />
minds, as well as our bodies.<br />
<br />
<br />
I've never been a fan of reality.<br />
When anybody mentions your name, my head<br />
gets confused, like when you see light after being in the dark for so long.<br />
<br />
Your name doesn't sound as beautiful when it's on the tip of somebody else's tongue.Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-44933337770044368852014-02-17T14:10:00.003-08:002014-02-17T14:10:43.813-08:00Flesh.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br /></div>
<br />
Let's just admit that we<br />
haven't got a clue what we're doing; we're just<br />
two people, touching bodies like we've never<br />
touched flesh before and hoping to God that we're doing it right.<br />
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-77249212959416513112014-01-11T06:29:00.001-08:002014-01-11T06:31:42.660-08:00Blog Challenge #1: Eyebrows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Our eyes are apparently the window to our soul...which means we should have something excellent framing them, right? </div>
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Which is why I'm baffled that so many girls have jumped on board this crazy fashion trend and messed about with their eyebrows. WHY WOULD YOU SHAVE THEM OFF?!</div>
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Up until I was about 16, I didn't realise eyebrow specific make-up even existed; my Mum was adamant that I wouldn't pluck my eyebrows until they grew so thick, they prevented me from seeing. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at the situation, I started to resemble Ugly Betty and left her with little choice but to hand the tweezers over to somebody professional. Hurrah, I was able to see again!</div>
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Now, I'm reasonably happy with my eyebrows; despite an over-plucking disaster in the summer of 2011, I'm able to maintain them on a day-to-day basis quite well - God bless eyebrow combs! When I'm going 'out out', I tend to fill them in a bit with <a href="http://www.benefitcosmetics.co.uk/product/view/brow-zings" target="_blank">Benefit brow zings</a>, only because I wear quite dark eye make-up and my natural eyebrows just don't cut it. But overall, I haven't really got any complaints about the weird hair that grows above my eyes.</div>
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However, looking at eyebrows throughout the years, it does make me wonder how we ever got to where we are now; girls are leaving the house looking like they used a Sharpie to draw their eyebrows on. Some girls don't have any. Other's have dyed their eyebrows so much, it looks as though two slugs have just decided to camp out on their face. </div>
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<b>In the 1920's</b>, it was the norm to have over-plucked, straight eyebrows. The thinner and straighter they were emphasised the look of worry on your face...and women had a lot to worry about during this decade (they were, however, given the right to vote!):</div>
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<img alt="20seyebrows" src="http://primemag.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/20seyebrows.jpg" height="165" width="200" /></div>
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<b>In the 1930's</b>, the 'thin is in' look was still very much prominent. However, the difference between eyebrows in this decade and the 20's was the exaggerated height; women were permanently seen to look astonished:</div>
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Wahoo!<b> By the time the 1940's</b> had come around, women were slowly, but surely, embracing the more natural look. Tweezers were ditched and thicker eyebrows became the norm: </div>
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Marilyn Monroe took eyebrows to a new level<b> in the 1950's</b>, personally my favourite eyebrow decade, with a thicker brow but a deeper arch. Audrey Hepburn, a huge eyebrow crush of mine, is a huge inspiration for women across the world during this decade. I don't think eyebrows get better than this:</div>
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<b>The 1960's is my favourite decade</b> simply because of The Beatles, the fashion and the casual attitude to psychedelic drugs...however, when we throw the evolution of eyebrows into the mix, I wish we could just skip this decade altogether. It was here that women started to shave their eyebrows off, favouring instead to pencil them back in in relatively thick strokes:</div>
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Going back to the natural-ish look, <b>the 1970's </b>put the ridiculous trend of shaved eyebrows to a close. Women favoured natural styles instead, leaning particularly towards an eyebrow with a round ball at the beginning of the brow...not my favourite, so I'm glad we saw this out:</div>
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<img alt="images (7)" src="http://primemag.me/wp-content/uploads/2013/08/images-7.jpeg" height="200" width="157" /></div>
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My second favourite eyebrow era and all I have to say is THANK GOD FOR BROOKE SHIELDS. <b>The 1980's</b> were home to heavy, yet bushy, eyebrows and women across the world are throwing away their eyebrow pencils and leaving their tweezers at the bottom of their make-up bags:</div>
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Ah, Madonna. There's a lot of things I love this woman for and eyebrows are just the start; still taking inspiration from the natural look above, <b>the 1990's</b> saw eyebrows become 'cleaner', allowing the face to be 'opened up':</div>
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<img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhrXKyq94zR3znhYDKJ9m0d0qd_y9654rYCmdrPFXFjVeuP6_KbzLOyaHcUj9GohFNuGLLxqQyEU5wD1Fvqbl_kckyG9MY5PuA95SmcOGfTp3YdKB6v3-ayNDezPRFLOsGyTjXFuvub6Yl6/s320/Madonna+brows.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></div>
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As the 90's drew to a close,<b> the 2000's</b> saw eyebrows follow the natural shape but take inspiration from the thicker, fuller look of the 80's. The Spice Girls all had excellent eyebrows. Julia Roberts eyebrows are one of my favourite things on this Earth:</div>
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<img src="http://www.clarepeople.com/wordp/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/Julia-Roberts.jpg" height="200" width="320" /></div>
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So, how is it possible that we went from the above to <b>this?!?!?!</b>:</div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIxJLgF6j-v1ulHCePihcIPdYTSBRpPQxkhVF8d45VgHpWPo8bGkbC6XXE8x7f8CoDg0MC1m-OU1wuiUhcUWso959FdYA8Z_ebxYqEXyCtFifYA6EzOli21ZoN1HEjmbS0C-ojGthMHQ8/s1600/eyebrows.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiIxJLgF6j-v1ulHCePihcIPdYTSBRpPQxkhVF8d45VgHpWPo8bGkbC6XXE8x7f8CoDg0MC1m-OU1wuiUhcUWso959FdYA8Z_ebxYqEXyCtFifYA6EzOli21ZoN1HEjmbS0C-ojGthMHQ8/s1600/eyebrows.jpg" height="55" width="400" /></a></div>
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It's not even funny anymore when you think about what the next generation are going to be doing to their eyebrows; we need positive eyebrow influences, not women who think 'Darkest Black' Magic Marker is their perfect shade of eyebrow pencil. I'd erect a statute in honour of the eyebrows belonging to Audrey Hepburn, Brooke Shields and Julia Roberts if it meant women these days would stop taking a razor to their face and shaving away their eyebrows...only to draw them back on. It doesn't make sense to me...why not spend your time reading a book or eating really, really good food?</div>
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What women do their eyebrows will always baffle me, which is why I'm signing this post off with some of my own eyebrow role models. If you're even thinking about shaving your eyebrows off, PLEASE look them up on Twitter, beg them to give you their eyebrow care regime and follow THAT through instead:</div>
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<img height="200" src="https://pbs.twimg.com/profile_images/378800000512309552/1c2e75ceef7015180708b6343758f817.jpeg" width="200" /></div>
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<a href="https://twitter.com/hayleycampbelly" target="_blank">Hayley Campbell - EXCELLENT.</a></div>
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<img src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTpSL4w2jG7O_XpnunfajRQzjiFkbrZMwFemdsi972V9GI7kmSF" /></div>
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<a href="http://www.twitter.com/gizzierskine" target="_blank">Gizzi Erskine - BRILLIANT</a></div>
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Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-69422407765240221222013-12-04T15:53:00.003-08:002015-07-24T07:59:45.631-07:0019 months and 26 days.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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London has been my home for the last 19 months and 26 days; it has been the backdrop to the majority of my greatest days and nights and the setting for a handful of my biggest falls. It's the city that still amazes me on a daily basis and also the city that drives me the craziest I've ever been.<br />
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When friends ask me "why London?", it's so hard to describe why this city means everything to me. I didn't move here to see my name written in lights, because all I want is to see my name printed below a published piece of my own writing, whether that be in a newspaper or on a restaurant menu:<br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is a greasy kebab shop. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's the song shared between the birds and the drunks walking home
at 6am.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's a waiter, calling me ma'am one minute and then asking to
'borrow' a cigarette the next.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is a used copy of the Metro, sat alone on an empty tube.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's a packet of metallic green 'Extra' chewing gum.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's a bar of Terry's Chocolate Orange, eaten in secret as you
wait for friends at the train station.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is somebody following you home at night.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is "ten Marlboro lights...and a lighter, please"</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's a used condom in the middle of the road.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's a window left open during the night, wide enough for </span>passersby<span style="font-family: inherit;"> to hear a couple's moans of pleasure.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is listening to that couple.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's two grams of cocaine just to get you through the night.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is a sleeping tablet, and a dry mouth.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">London is a can of Jack Daniels and Coke bought from the newsagents.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">It's drinking a shandy on a cool summer's evening.</span></div>
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London is eating calamari overlooking the Thames.</div>
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It's G-A-Y on a Friday night/Saturday morning.</div>
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It's "it's not you, it's me".</div>
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A conversation remembered forever.</div>
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Roasted chestnuts served along South Bank.</div>
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A homeless man sitting outside Starbucks.</div>
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Fingerless gloves and short skirts.</div>
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Two for £10 burgers at your local 'gastro-pub'.</div>
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London is playing Arctic Monkey's album on the bus at 8:43am.</div>
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It's a fishfinger sandwich with ketchup and plastic cheese.</div>
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Buses that come every ten minutes.</div>
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London is an excellent transport system (we're supposed to say that).</div>
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It's falling in love with how somebody sounds at 5am.</div>
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London is foreplay on the dancefloor of a tacky nightclub.</div>
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It's Oxford Street Marks and Spencers for tea and cake on a Saturday afternoon.</div>
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It's arguing over religion with people you've just met.</div>
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London is vodka Red Bulls just as the night is coming to a close.</div>
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An attic flat in Brixton with four strangers.</div>
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It's the greatest love story ever told.</div>
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It's the loneliest story ever told.</div>
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London is working through your lunch break.</div>
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Sainsburys 'help yourself' salads.</div>
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It's introducing food into the bedroom to spice up your sex life.</div>
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It's bowling with strangers and your best friends rolled into one.</div>
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Vietnamese food with your manager.</div>
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London is tweeting when you're waiting for your train at night.</div>
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It's K cider to start the night off.</div>
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London is exactly like Christmas Day; you wake up and everything is amazing.</div>
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You eat six mince pies in a row, all of the Malteasers and the Galaxy Caramels from a tub of 'Celebrations' (because they're the best ones) and then start working your way through a selection box before you feel sick. </div>
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It's opening your presents, full of excitement, before realising if you didn't drink so much, you could have bought it for yourself, saving your parents a little bit of money. </div>
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It's being grateful and feeling guilty all at the same time. </div>
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It's hiding the annoyance on your face when you realise somebody is always going to try and top your Christmas presents.</div>
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London is going to bed at the end of the day, feeling sick from too much food and too much joy. </div>
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London is waking up on Boxing Day, realising you have to take the rubbish out.</div>
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-1772162274804682882013-12-03T09:33:00.001-08:002013-12-03T09:33:31.065-08:00Nirvana<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: large;">Nirvana</span><br /><span class="lr_dct_ph">nɪəˈvɑːnə/</span><i>noun</i><strong>1</strong>.<br /><span style="font-family: inherit;">(in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.</span></span><table class="vk_tbl vk_gy" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><tbody>
<tr><td class="lr_dct_nyms_ttl" style="font-style: italic; padding: 0px 3px 0px 0px; vertical-align: top; white-space: nowrap;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">synonyms:</span></td><td style="padding: 0px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">paradise, heaven, Eden, the promised land.<br /><br /></span></td></tr>
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Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-32008981124317392392013-11-24T07:20:00.002-08:002013-11-24T07:20:30.003-08:00Americano.I like that<br />
I now drink coffee because of<br />
you.<br />
<br />
Black, and sugar please...two.<br />
Most mornings begin with addiction<br />
as I watch my veins turn into<br />
the selected method of transport, as the caffeine<br />
mixes with my blood. A paper cut<br />
would only show Nescafe and nicotine.<br />
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Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-66389139668841595882013-10-23T09:28:00.002-07:002013-10-23T09:28:48.966-07:00"I need a hero"...well, actually you don't...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD_Tf7JbNgcLodpqhgKXfnpmUbIi2iTn-5YeyR4_nHCsYkpE4vv53lA-euPWefdyOSeSBNvEA8DfYfxj7_GzofTqRdRYvPN_LduCVnr967-zfXVLRpdAcbjbfpJJxCscVCgTEganwZDH0/s1600/hero.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="232" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgD_Tf7JbNgcLodpqhgKXfnpmUbIi2iTn-5YeyR4_nHCsYkpE4vv53lA-euPWefdyOSeSBNvEA8DfYfxj7_GzofTqRdRYvPN_LduCVnr967-zfXVLRpdAcbjbfpJJxCscVCgTEganwZDH0/s320/hero.png" width="320" /></a></div>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Five days
ago, I went to see Russell Brand's stand-up show 'The Messiah Complex. I'm a
huge fan of his work and the way in which he vocalises himself does nothing but
make my brain hurt and my heart beat faster.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;"></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">After he spent 'quality time' with the
audience at the beginning of the show, Brand then spent two hours dissecting
just why people think it's so important to have a hero. He compared himself to
Malcolm X, Che Guevara, Gandhi and Jesus Christ in an attempt to convince
people that really, we're not that different to those we place upon pedestals. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Sure, comparing yourself to the Son of
God is a bit much but it got me thinking...</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I know that I, personally, am
incredibly guilty of placing those I admire upon a higher platform; I cannot
even fathom why I do this because I only have myself to blame when these people
show me they’re nothing more than simple human beings after all. None of my
‘heroes’ can cure life threatening diseases or stop famine in third world
countries but yet, there they are, perched just higher than reaching distance,
reminding me that I could be so much more. More hard-working, compassionate,
loving, dedicated, relaxed, fearful, interesting…whatever I could be more of,
they are. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I can’t tell you the exact moment my
head decides it’s a good idea to place a singular person at this height, and I
can only guess as to why I allow myself to make this decision. As I said
before, I’m the only one who gets hurt when a person fails to reach my ridiculous
expectations. <br />
Just like Brand mentioned in his show, he, too, is guilty of marking somebody
with the ‘hero’ status. Sure, he admitted to idolising four VERY famous,
brilliant men but it’s not just ‘celebrities’ we’re capable of going
starry-eyed over.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Back in April this year, I could
officially say I had met every single one of my heroes. What started out as a
joke – motivation, if you like – between me and a friend had actually become a
bit of a checklist: <br />
- Get e-mail address of particular ‘hero’ (usually a writer)<br />
- Send/receive e-mails with them<br />
- Arrange drinks/meeting </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">- Spend a
whole day prior to meeting them, throwing up with nerves and convincing myself
I wasn’t enough of a good writer to be in their presence.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">This process happened five different
times. Each time, I left the meeting in an intense state; I had just spent the
evening with somebody I’ve idolised since I’ve been old enough to make my own
decisions. I’m 20. I officially have nobody else I want to meet…except John
Lennon but that’s impossible. It’s a complete understatement to say that the
intense state mentioned above is nothing but overwhelming. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">The next day, I’d be in a daze. People
would try to talk to me and all I could say was “they think I’m a good writer.
Like…a really good writer. They said I have so much potential and they’re
excited to see my journey progress”. God, it was like I was possessed with this
horrible, self-obsessed demon that stopped me from caring about anything other
than what these people thought about me. I wish somebody had slapped me. But at
the same time, that feeling of hearing a hero of yours praise you…it’s
incomparable, it’s amazing and it’s addictive. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">At the beginning of this process, I
decided that all I could really do was get better. After all, that’s what my
heroes were doing. They weren’t slowing down just because somebody praised
their work and if anything, I just wanted to be like them. I wanted to be that
good that somebody might even consider eventually looking up to me.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Suddenly, my heroes began to turn into
my friends; they became the first person I’d call when in need, the most
regular name flashing up on my phone, the person my Facebook would
automatically assume was with me whenever I ‘checked-in’anywhere. It got to the
point where I was living out their dream, side tracking my own, just to be a
little bit like them.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I had the
best time. I was living a life I had never, ever planned and enjoying every
single minute of it. I was phoning my Mum to tell her I had spent the night
partying with her favourite chart topper or Hollywood’s most famous leading
man, coming into work after two hours sleep, wearing the same clothes as the
night before, leaving the house at 6pm and finding myself on a different side
of London at 6am. It was magical and compelling and I was living a 19 year
old’s dream. <br />
<br />
I had conversation topics to suit any situation, I had experiences under my
belt that other people couldn’t even begin to get their head around and things
that had once seemed impossible were now my reality. And what was even better
about this, was that I had my heroes on speed dial/e-mail/next to me throughout
this whole adventure. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 16.2pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">On those rare nights when I found
myself in my own bed at 11pm, I would spend hours obsessing over how amazing it
was to have these people in my life; five very different people, all teaching
me very different things. The experiences I had with them separately all
created this huge bubble of ridiculousness in my head, a bubble that I soon
discovered was about to burst.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">This was the part of Russell Brand’s
show whereby he compared himself to his heroes. He had built the audience, and
himself, up to this point where we all genuinely believed life could not get
any better. He had somebody to aspire to be like; he was constantly getting
better now that he had something/somebody to aim towards…and then came the
biggest flaw: the realisation that really, these people are no different to us
already.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">They are human. They need food and
water and sleep to function. They have parents and maybe brothers and sisters.
They have their own dreams. They have to go to the supermarket to buy cleaning
products, toilet paper and things like butter. They go to the toilet. They
suffer from hangovers and comedowns. <br />
Every single person on this Earth has flaws. Perfection is impossible – unless
you’re Channing Tatum, of course…<br />
<br />
I soon realised that I had completely put my own journey on hold because it was
too time-consuming. I wanted to spend every single possible moment, savouring
in the taste of what the life of somebody I admired was like. But, was I any
closer to becoming an award-winning journalist? Did I have anything, other than
the dark circles under my eyes, to show my Mum I was one step closer to
fulfilling my dreams? <br />
If the answers to both of those were no, was I at l least any closer to
convincing a really rich man to marry me? At least his wealth would distract my
parents from my journey that they watched start and were now being forced to
view as it came to a startling halt whilst I filled up on expensive alcohol? </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 0pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Whilst some of the audience recoiled in
shock as Russell Brand ended the show with a comparison on how he, just a
simple (yet ridiculously sexy) man from Essex, was like Jesus Christ, I sat in
awe as he encapsulated my outlook on heroes over the last few months with a few
simple sentences.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 16.2pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">Of course, I still place people on a
pedestal. There are some I will always hold with high regards. I refuse to
delete certain messages/e-mails/photos purely because they remind me of a
particular person, or a memory associated with them. But I’ve given up on
expecting these people to make me better. That responsibility falls on my own
shoulders.</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
<span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">I’m learning to utilise what my
‘heroes’ teach me for the long term, the bigger picture. But I’m also learning
how to edit what they’re teaching me so that these lessons completely mould
around my own journey. </span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
</span><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="background: white; line-height: normal; margin: 0cm 0cm 10pt;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: black; mso-ascii-font-family: Calibri; mso-bidi-font-family: Calibri; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB; mso-hansi-font-family: Calibri;">They may praise my writing skills,
provide me with a ‘Free Entry’ pass to everything exciting and keep me
distracted from my thoughts but I know now that what’s more important is my
ability to turn my own dreams into reality. And I also need to focus on finding
myself that rich man…</span><span style="color: black; font-family: "Segoe UI","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-GB;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-19663243284511309302013-10-07T13:48:00.001-07:002013-10-08T01:10:10.373-07:00Archived.<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">E-mails saved in a folder re-named as 'Archived', with subject lines, detailing</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">
the amount of times I kissed you, how many minutes we spent together and<br />
memorable dates.<br />
Dates only you remember, which is strange because I remember everything,<br />
including the amount our last adventure together cost you.<br /> <br />
I kept receipts and cinema tickets and birthday cards and mixed CDs you had
made me.<br />
But I couldn't keep the videos I recorded of you laughing,<br />
because the thought of somebody else being the reason for that laugh<br />
only makes my heart heavy.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
You kissed me like a friend, the last time I kissed you,<br />
but it was hard on my mouth so I knew you meant it.<br />
I wanted us to be closer, yet you grew distant.<br />
The phone calls stopped.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
I can't help but wonder if the other girl,<br />
the girl you could take home to your parents because she shared the<br />
same beliefs as you, gets to hear your laugh.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /><span style="line-height: 115%;">But two weeks ago, your name flashed onto my phone
screen,</span><span style="line-height: 115%;">
and you told me you heard a song and it reminded you </span></span><br />
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 115%;">of me.</span></span>Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-85931122805598355662013-09-18T11:14:00.001-07:002013-09-18T11:14:55.226-07:009 to 5, part one.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBjQD_-OcViDqdD1lnzVOVdAiATuCffpbD4kcug_c2yhsTrry-yFBL_3bROWFQmrBQ6zQeA9qTC1FHd_A5nrfsuIasbSrY8nOTVXjoJXGsyS92BgTM2ZXqQZGbgzyL7E_T6bO32R1Rx8/s1600/large+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="222" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiCBjQD_-OcViDqdD1lnzVOVdAiATuCffpbD4kcug_c2yhsTrry-yFBL_3bROWFQmrBQ6zQeA9qTC1FHd_A5nrfsuIasbSrY8nOTVXjoJXGsyS92BgTM2ZXqQZGbgzyL7E_T6bO32R1Rx8/s320/large+(2).jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Nobody really aspires to be working an average 9 to 5 job at the age of 20; most of my 20 year old friends barely make it out of bed before early afternoon and the thought of missing the lunchtime special at Whetherspoons fills them with a dread I don't even want to get my head around. In fact, regardless of age, does anybody really aspire to be working a 9 to 5? Dolly Parton may have convinced everybody that she understands what it's like to have to down two large espressos before 10am, just to function, but I'm pretty sure she's able to pick and choose her own working hours...she is Dolly Parton, after all.<br />
<br />
Never, in my entire life, have I ever been seduced by the idea of working from 9am to 5pm. From the age of seven, I wanted to be a writer and in my head, that meant writing at 3am because it's the only time to find some peace and spending a lot of time networking with other writers, complaining about writer's block and lack of inspiration - two things which automatically mean a holiday needs to be booked ASAP. I had visions of myself sat at a desk, working from home on my state of the art laptop, writing 500 words every hour, stopping for spontaneous (but often) coffee, cake and cigarette breaks and finishing work whenever the nearest pub began Happy Hour. Now I'm older and a little bit more realistic, I cannot begin to tell you what a shock to the system it was to discover I didn't get to re-enact all of the above the minute I had a few A-Levels under my belt.<br />
<br />
Instead, a lifetime of hard work is mapped out. If I want Happy Hour drinks, I have to earn the money to buy them. A state of the art laptop? Well, they don't grow on trees...<br />So I've taken up an office job, whereby I start at 9am and finish at 5:30pm. I'm usually late and if I'm not late, I'm sometimes hungover, tired or moody. The latter is a firm favourite of mine.<br />I'd be lying if I said I didn't struggle with the same routine everyday but luckily, my day to day to-do list varies.<br />
<br />
The job is based at a debt collection agency; when I first started, I was an admin assistant who spent most of the day looking at the clock, urging the hands to move faster. Nine months later, I switched roles (I guess I was promoted really) and now I'm a complete Sales and Marketing tosser. I use phrases like "I hope you're well?" in e-mails, arrange client visits and make connections via LinkedIn. Friday afternoons and Monday mornings are dedicated to running reports and creating a Pivot Table in Excel excites me more than it should.<br />The company itself has a lot of potential to be something amazing. It's innovative, forward thinking and is in the process of finally catching up with the 21st century. Thank God.<br />I get on ridiculously well with my Manager (she's actually more of an annoying older sister than a pushy boss) and after a busy day at work, it's quite normal to find us sat outside a pub in Clapham, finally tasting those Happy Hour drinks I've been banging on about.<br />I work with my brother, which is a challenge in itself but entertaining nevertheless. Plus, it means I'm always guaranteed a lunch buddy.<br />
In actual fact, the idea of working a 9 to 5 would be too much to bear if I was working anywhere other then the company I work for now.<br />
<br />
One of the benefits of my job is that I get to visit clients across the country. I escape London every once in a while, braving Euston Station at 9am and travel to places like Havant, Coventry, Wolverhampton...it's not glamorous, but it beats staring at the same four walls five days a week.<br />
So, today, I found myself in the office of a warehouse, dressed like an estate agent and sat next to my Manager. We had just finished a four hour long drive to Stoke after a horrendous 5am wake-up call and life could not have been anymore surreal unless a flying pig flew past.<br /><i>"Who wants to be sat in a warehouse that distributes collectible plates featuring the Royal Family's faces? Oh, and at Christmas, they include Santa hats on the plates..." </i><br />
And the answer to that question is: nobody. Nobody really wants to be sat in this specific office, discussing how the placement of a Christmas hat would effect the Queen's hair on a plate that's going to take pride of place on somebody's wall unit.<br />
<br />
But it got me thinking: 13 years ago, when I first decided I wanted to write for a living, I would never have imagined that spending time in a plate distributing warehouse would ever have factored into the hard graft I've got to put in. Not only just spending time in said warehouse, but some of the activities that take place at work either...I'm pretty sure I didn't sign up for "awful atmosphere, bitchy comments" when I made a pledge to create a career out of my words but still...they're entertaining stories when swapped over a few drinks in a beer garden.<br />
<br />
My office consists of a range of people: University graduates, working Mums, angry young adults and hard-working career heads.<br />I sit with my manager, slap bang in the middle of an open plan office; we're between the Call Centre and Client Services, so eavesdropping means conversation topics vary. One day, it could be about cruise ships dedicated to amateur tango dancers, and the next, it could be about politics and the voting system.<br />There's a variety of characters who accompany these stories, starting with the right-wing-Daily-Mail-reading 67 year old who works in Client Services, the outrageously-gay-but-in-the-closet guy who works in Correspondence and ending with the over-protective-of-stationary Finance Ledger.<br />
<br />
I'm not sure if it's because we favour Prosecco over £6 wine (no complaints though but when you've got a choice...) or because we separate work from our home life, but nobody really talks to my Manager and I. Oh, hold your sympathy, surprisingly the silence is actually a good thing. It keeps us out of drama and allows us to laugh at the ridiculous situations that unfold from the sidelines.<br />For example, when one member of Correspondence fell out with the outrageously-gay-but-in-the-closet guy who also works in Correspondence, this suddenly meant the team had to take sides. Cigarette breaks were staggered, teas and coffees were made separately and there was an awkward atmosphere hanging over the section like somebody had seen somebody else naked.<br />
It provided a fair bit of entertainment on boring Tuesday afternoons and it was always a mystery as to who would be speaking to who every morning.<br />
<br />
Bitching like that occurs frequently and it is really the people, not the situations, that bring the entertainment factor to the table. One woman is obsessed with the new coffee machine we've just had installed in our kitchen and it's become a bit of a running joke how mad she gets when it runs out of beans. Another woman drinks so much of a lunchtime, it's become a bit of a competition to guess how much sense she'll make when she stumbles back into the office. One guy pulls so many sickies, we're actually shocked when he turns up in the morning.<br />
Although I understand the importance of caffeine when working such straight hours, I'm also starting to understand how important it is to fill everyday with as much laughter as possible. I wouldn't be privy to such ridiculous situations, conversations and people if I was sat at home with only my laptop to keep me company.<br />
<br />
Sure, I'd have plenty of videos of funny cats on YouTube to watch but I don't think that interests me as much as knowing how my Manager's step class went, whether a specific Call Centre Agent pulled during his beloved Foxtrot lessons and what every single member of the Client Services team had for dinner.<br />
I don't care how sad that makes me, I can't help but thank John Lennon's spirit that all of what I wished for mentioned above doesn't come so easily because if it had, I wouldn't have met some of the funniest people I know. So as much as I want to write for a living, right now I'm quite grateful that I'm gaining experience in a field I didn't even know existed up until 18 months ago. Even if it does mean I have to sit in a warehouse that distributes collectible plates sometimes...<br />
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-58694341910280663232013-08-05T14:58:00.003-07:002013-08-05T15:06:27.147-07:00 "If you can't say something nice...don't say nothing at all" - Thumper (Bambi)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
As a kid, I was never allowed to watch Bambi; my parents knew that it would lead to days of hysteria, endless sleepless nights and a hundred and one questions. I've still never watched it, purely out of fear that these things will happen, this time without the safety of my parents bed and a nightlight to help send me back to sleep.<br />
But, despite never seeing the film, Bambi has actually taught me one of the most important lessons I've ever learnt: "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all".<br />
<br />
As a rule of thumb, if I have only negative comments to make, I try not to turn them into utterances. Sure, every so often, I slip up and I say something I end up regretting for the next 24 hours but usually, you'll only find nice words coming from my lips. I LOVE sarcasm but would never use it to purposely make somebody feel bad. I just find it easier to compliment people then to insult them, regardless of whether I mean it or not.<br />
Unfortunately, some people tend to favour the insults rather than the compliments and I'm struggling to get my head around this.<br />
<br />
Whether they do it to be purposely nasty or because they've placed themselves in an uncomfortable situation, people who say things venomously really do get my back up.<br />
It's bullying, it's in most obvious form, and although some comments are meant with jest, I honestly do believe that it's easier, and a bloody lot nicer, to just keep your mouth closed.<br />
<br />
A lot of the time, people don't even think before they make a comment; I'm one of those annoying people without a filter between my brain and mouth but even I know hurtful comments do nothing but cause upset. When I dyed my hair orange, the amount of abuse I got in the street was ridiculous. But it came from strangers, from people who didn't, and shouldn't, care about the after effect of their words. They get to go home, watch Jeremy Kyle, and forget about how their comments made me feel and good for them. The only reason they're going to address their comment is if they're evaluating how to become a nicer person - I'm the least of their worries. But when supposed friends make nasty comments, that's what gets me.<br />
<br />
They should know how rude it is to pass comment on something such as weight, sexuality, career choice, what you had for dinner. But again, I'm shocked to see that very few people think about the consequences before they open their mouth - even when they know the person they're talking too.<br />
At a wedding yesterday, I felt reasonably good about myself. I haven't had an excuse to dress up, wear heels and apply my eyeliner until it reached my hairline for a really long time; it felt good putting effort into how I looked and as strangers started complimenting me, I began to get a buzz. And then the comments came.<br />
Again, regardless of whether the comments are made in jest, I think people really need to address how their words effect others. Somebody made a comment about my hair reminding them of Ariel, from The Little Mermaid. "I think you look more like the Sea Witch in that film" came a response. Cool.<br />
At first, little jokes like this used to make me laugh but the situation in how it was said, did nothing but get my back up.<br />
Then came the comments about weight. I've suffered with my weight since I was 13 and I'm now in a position to say I'm comfortable with how I look; okay, so I have an issue with my arms and I really hate my thighs and hips but FINALLY, the thought of somebody seeing me naked in the light doesn't make me feel as sick as it used too. But none of this matters because all it takes is one comment from one person to knock me back into that place again. Oh, and there it was "I might become bulimic for an hour, see how much food I can fit in." - sure, a sweeping statement to many, but for me, that was like a dagger through my stretch-marked stomach.<br />
<br />
The entire day, not one single nice comment came from this person's mouth. When speaking to me, most words were laced with malice and spite, all for no particular reason. I hadn't been nasty to them or uttered a single word aimed to insult them.<br />
It's just amazing how one person's negative actions/words can totally ruin the precedent of a day. Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of love, documented with beautiful photographs and with amazing memories. Instead, I'm flicking through Facebook photos scrutinising my make-up and wondering whether or not I share any resemblance to Ursula, the Sea Witch.<br />
<br />
Although rather selfishly I've focused on myself throughout this, it seems that the negativity has spread worldwide.<br />
<br />
Recently, Twitter has been like a playground for cyber abuse with strangers sending other people threats, of rape and murder, when all they should be doing is enjoying their lunch break. When did a social media platform become so negative? I signed up four years ago to keep up to date with my friends - two years ago, something clicked and I realised I could be using it to showcase my blog and to connect with people in positions that would help me. I've met many of my heroes, and some of my best friends, through Twitter and have never even thought to bombard somebody with horrible Tweets or to abuse somebody simply because they're in the public eye. This sort of behavior is so foreign to me, that I'm still genuinely shocked when I see it happening.<br />
Caitlin Moran wrote an explanation on the reasoning behind the #twittersilence she arranged; an organised Twitter silence to alert the higher powers of Twitter that if something wasn't done to step up how abuse, and abusers, is treated then Tweeters would just find a new platform. Shockingly, this led to even more abuse from those who thought the #twittersilence was giving into the bullies. A simple act of solidarity didn't even need to be explained but the sheer naivety, and nastiness, of some people means that we're now living in a world where even positive actions are having to be explained.<br />
Why can we not just be NICE?<br />
<br />
There's really need for all of this negativity; why do we purposely try to make people feel like shit? Why do we even think our words matter enough for us to speak them?<br />
<br />
Social media, although this cannot be blamed entirely, has given every single person out there a voice, and whilst that's brilliant in some aspects, people seem to think that suddenly, it's okay to use this voice to cause trouble. I see it everywhere: YouTube video comments, blog posts, Twitter, Facebook...there's so many platforms for people to shout from. It's a horrible world we live in when you're scared of Tweeting something, just in case a stranger seems to think it's okay to pass a negative comment.<br />
<br />
I can only share my opinions but I am going to make it my mission to say at least one lovely thing per day. In fact, make that five. Whether it be a nice comment on a Facebook photo, an e-mail fan-girling to my writing hero or a Tweet, spreading love towards somebody having a bad day, I'm going to make certain that my social media platforms are radiating nothing but positivity, love and kindness. In fact, when I eventually have kids, I'm only to deter them from getting Twitter accounts (or whichever 'cool' social media platform they're using) and force them to watch Bambi instead.<br />
I think we can all learn a lot from Thumper's words...<br />
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<br />Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-11439820473295971852013-06-26T16:12:00.000-07:002013-06-26T16:12:00.602-07:00Ebony Lilly...x<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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September, as I know it, isn't a very exciting month. It's back to school season, end of festival season and the beginning of horrible weather season. But September 2012 was alright. On August 30th, one of my best friends gave birth to the most beautiful baby girl I've ever set my sights on. From her silly hair to her chubby little cheeks, there is nothing about this kid that doesn't exude perfection. 10 months later, she's a proper little human being who smiles when you blow raspberries on her tummy and pulls a grumpy face when you won't let her watch the television. Ebony Lilly is going to change the world, or at least the parts around her, and I'm going to be watching every single one of her steps. I'm well aware she hasn't even taken her first yet and the fact she can't read is a bit of an issue but in six years time, when I'm forcing her to read books like 'To Kill A Mockingbird' and 'Jane Eyre', I'm also going to make her read this. Just so she can realise how many lives she turned upside down when she took her first breath:<br />
<br />
Alright kiddo,<br />
<br />
I know this is a bit premature given that you can't read, walk or even use a computer but one day you'll get what this is all about. When I first held you, you being three days old and me holding back happy tears as your little eyes took in my mental hair and stupid mole face (blame your Mum for that nickname), I made a secret pact with you. Well I made two, one being to always remind you that John Lennon is in fact the greatest Beatle of all time, but the other one being a bit more serious: your Mum has provided me with enough laughter, support and friendship to last a lifetime and I owe her big time for the amount of times she's helped dig me out of horrible situations - when you're old enough to know, we'll tell you the Superdrug story but please don't think any less of me. I was really drunk when it happened.<br />
Your Dad is brilliant and I know he'll protect you beyond belief but there's going to come a time when your Mum is going to need a little bit of help from her friends. Whether to tell you no when you ask to get a piercing (I mean, of course I'll sneak you away from your Mum's watchful eye and let you get it done anyway but she doesn't need to know that) or interrogate your first boyfriend, I made a promise with you, and her, that I'd help out. Trust me, you're going to cause your Mum and Dad a lot of grey hairs as you grow up so the least I can do is try to minimalise the damage, right?<br />
<br />
Anyway, the point of this isn't to make myself cry, which I seem to be doing anyway, but it's to give you something to read when you're grounded for the first time. Which I can see being very soon - you're pretty cheeky already, madam. When you were born, I realised I couldn't ever preach to you about the importance of ambition or following your dreams if I wasn't taking my own advice. So at this very moment, I'm living in London, 64 miles away from you, attempting to forge a successful writing career and maintain a level of control over my own life...I'm not sure either of those things are happening at the rate I hoped for but it's an adventure. I'm learning a lot of important lessons along the way so I thought I'd share them with you. God knows you're not going to listen but I like to think you'll pay a little bit of attention...<br />
<br />
Whatever you want to do with your life: do it. You're already headstrong and stubborn so I know you'll have no problem with this but just remember that you possess enough power to change the world. Today, I saw my Twitter feed blow up as people expressed their admiration for Wendy Davis, a remarkable woman who has literally changed the world. You can do that too, if you want. But if you want to work in Tesco for the rest of your life, you can do that as well. But just a warning: I'm going to push you to be the greatest possible version of yourself. If you choose Tesco, you'll make store manager in a week.<br />
<br />
Please please please respect your education. Don't bunk lessons because your teacher's an idiot. Always revise. Go to your exams. Study hard.<br />
<br />
Keep a diary, kid. One day, when you're twenty years old and in a lonely, over-polluted city, you'll read the musings of your teenage self and it'll give you enough motivation to keep pushing through with whatever journey you've decided to take. Write down every single memory as it happens, take lots of photos and document everything. The hand cramp will be totally worth it, I promise.<br />
<br />
Do not underestimate the power of music. Your Mum maybe a big Rihanna fan but I'm going to start making you mix-tapes as soon as you're old enough to appreciate the beauty of The Kinks, The Doors, Madonna, Bowie, Alanis Morissette and many others. Get your hands on as many records as you possibly can of as many genres available. Do me a favour and please never buy a Flo Rida song though, yeah?<br />
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Boys are going to come and go, trust me. You'll get enough attention from them as you get older but just wait for one that really makes your heart pound and your stomach turn to butterflies. Your Mum and Dad have been together a really long time already, so take note of what they're doing right. But just be picky, for Gods sake. You're going to be way out of every boy's league anyway so maybe there's not much point in even trying to find one good enough for you. Become a nun instead.<br />
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Body modification is cool; I have enough tattoos and piercings to tell you this but just think really hard before you mark your body forever.<br />
<br />
Vodka is not your friend. Neither is whiskey. Or wine. Or beer. Just don't drink alcohol. But if you are tempted, make sure you've got somebody sensible with you - preferably me. There'll be none of this drinking cider in the park with boys two years older then you malarky.<br />
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Appreciate EVERY single thing your Mum and Dad do for you, okay? I know they're annoying and really mental but they brought you into this world so do me a favour and show you're grateful, please.<br />
<br />
Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but people are going to hurt you. Fuck, you're going to hurt people as well without even realising it. But don't let one bad experience stop you from trusting again. Your heart will heal but just forgive as gracefully as you possibly can. Don't hold grudges, they'll just give you a headache.<br />
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Don't bleach your hair. Your Mum will tell you this one but just in case she doesn't: green, orange (unless you're me), blue, pink and yellow hair don't look that nice once it's started to fade. Just stay natural.<br />
<br />
Say please and thank you.<br />
<br />
Read as much as you possibly can. Words are my greatest love, obviously aside from you, and I've learnt so much from them. You're already showing signs of being a bit of a geek so embrace that. Books are cool.<br />
<br />
Love, a lot. And be kind. Gosh, Ebony if there's one thing you take from this, if you choose not to take my advice when it comes to alcohol, please just keep this in mind. Be kind, be lovely but don't be taken for a fool.<br />
<br />
I know I've sort of limited you a lot here but trust me, it'll be worth it in the end if you listen up. By the time you're old enough to read this, I'm not sure what I'll be doing with my life - hopefully writing for a respected newspaper and earning enough money to see you at least twice a month, but just know that wherever I am, I will always have your back. You'll always have my support, regardless of whether you want, or need, it so don't be scared to tell me things you feel you can't tell your Mum and Dad. Just don't tell me you like Rihanna.<br />
I'm going to make sure you experience as much of this world as I can offer you, whether that be in the form of holidays, gigs, books, words, adventures, train tickets, advice or life lessons. Your Mum and Dad have got to do the serious stuff so don't hold that against them but they've made sure you've got enough people around you to provide the fun side of things.<br />
<br />
Ten months old and you're already changing the world, little one, so I can only imagine what you're going to be like by the time you reach my age. Just be cool, Ebony, and don't ever be embarrassed by anything I do...because it'll only make me do it more.<br />
<br />
I love you a ridiculous amount; thanks for turning my world upside down without forcing me to go through a really painful labour. I'm sorry for the amount of The Beatles I will make you listen to.<br />
<br />
xxxVictoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-13402619386901488492013-06-09T09:42:00.001-07:002013-06-09T09:42:15.982-07:00IAmMusic.TV: Paloma Faith in aid of WarChild<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #393a3a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px; margin-bottom: 16px; padding: 0px;">
Paloma Faith is an icon. Whatever your take on contemporary music is, there’s no denying that she’s up there with artists such as Jake Bugg, Frank Turner and Plan B. A part of a new generation sent to change the way we view the world via the medium of music. Her journey through the music industry has been a tough one but one she has completely worked for. In turn, she’s bringing with her a message regarding work ethic, passion and determination. Using her talents for good, instead of evil, she’s following in the footsteps of artists, who have previously walked the same path as she is walking right now, such as Billie Holiday, Etta James and Ella Fitzgerald…but she’s paving a personal route, in her own sky-scraper heels.</div>
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With artists like Paloma Faith in the mix, my faith in the music industry remains intact. Can we just forget about David Guetta now and lets stop replaying ‘Take Care’ by Drake and Rihanna. Lets focus on the artists who are in this industry, not for the fame, but for the passion. Because they can’t get through a day without creating a melody. Because they speak in lyrics. Because it’s not blood that runs through their veins, but music. Music and a shared aspiration that the world could be a better place… but only if we sack off Baauer from the hit 40 UK Chart Show.</div>
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In the last 18 months, I’ve followed Paloma Faith’s career intently and I’ve seen how much she’s progressed as an artist. Ever since she released her first album ‘Do You Want the Truth or Something Beautiful’, I’ve witnessed her perform a few times and the intensity of one of her shows is something you can only experience. From the very first time I sat in Union Chapel, watching her perform her first album to a crowd so deeply intrigued by the performance in front of them, to Sunday night, where I sat in the same spot as I did two years previously, watching her perform songs from her second album, ‘Fall to Grace’ to a different crowd yet who were equally as intrigued, I feel as though I’ve been looking in on her journey and suddenly, she’s transcended into a figure the music industry so urgently needs.</div>
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As she took to the stage, accompanied by her band members – a team so close, it’s almost like they’re family – and backed by a string quartet, the crowd went silent, ready to immerse themselves fully into the night that lay ahead of them. That’s the thing with a Paloma Faith concert, you never quite know what you should be prepared for…</div>
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The night was held in aid of War Child, a dedicated charity created to raise funds for children who are victims of war. The charity’s work stretches across the globe and there’s no limit to the help and support they provide. Produced by American Express, the night was the first of their Platinum Cashback rewards – an idea I can’t help but hail as long awaited. The ethos behind the night is that you spend £30 on a ticket to the show and then on the night, you can either take the cash back in the form of an American Express gift card or you can donate that £30 to War Child. There’s no guilt placed on you if you want to take the cash back but the way I see it is that you’ve spent £30 to see a truly spectacular show AND you’re helping to save someone’s life. I mean, what else are you going to spend your money on besides that pair of boots you saw in the Office sale that’ll be out of fashion by April?</div>
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With Nina Nesbitt as the support act for the evening, the night began when Nina picked up her guitar. Quirky, talented beyond belief and completely holding her own on the stage, Nina is everything I love about the music industry right now. Girls fighting back, doing their own thing and proving that Geri Halliwell kick-started a major world changer the moment she uttered ‘girl power’ for the first time. At only 18, Nina possesses a level of wisdom that shone throughout the crowd as she performed songs straight from her heart. It’s without a doubt that Nina is an emerging talent and I feel so honoured to have seen her perform in a venue such as Union Chapel. Her music is honest, personal and she had the entire crowd in the palm of her hand as she giggled her way through a badly tuned guitar.</div>
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After a short break, Paloma took to the stage to perform; in no way different from every other time I’ve seen her live, she had the crowd speechless as she glided her way across the stage and introduced the night with ‘Let Your Love Walk In’. Despite a few errors, Paloma soon announced that she was having trouble with the set list as she had only performed the songs in such a way once before: stripped back, acoustic and completely raw. While there wasn’t a dry eye in the house as she performed songs such as ‘Agony’, ‘When You’re Gone’ and ’30 Minute Love Affair’, within seconds she had the crowd singing along to the song made famous through the John Lewis advert, ‘Never Tear Us Apart’. That’s what I love about Paloma’s music; it can lift you up and bring you back down without you even realising it and as you find yourself dancing along to the music, you’re left wondering why your mascara is halfway down your face.</div>
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As she continued to perform songs from her album, she wowed the crowd with her performance of ‘Just Be’ – a modern day love song that is refreshingly honest. Telling the story of a couple so in love that they can admit they sometimes get a bit pissed off with each other, she gave every singleton in the audience a little bit of hope that, someday, they’ll find someone who finds their annoying habits endearing. Followed shortly by ‘Streets of Glory’ a personal favourite of mine, I was completely speechless as she performed the song with such perfect execution, despite the entire crowd holding back tears. Paloma proved last night that she’s not just a brilliant performer but a true wordsmith as well, with lyrics such as “you can’t teach because you never learn” and “the more you talk, the less it means”…which is why it just seemed completely necessary to let Paloma sing away our Sunday evening. Her songs capture every single human emotion and I was left wondering whether I could get through life just by playing her album when I’m required to speak. What I try to say in 20 minutes, Paloma proved she can cover in a simple three.</div>
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A true rollercoaster of emotions, seeing Paloma Faith perform live leaves you questioning reality and wondering what you’ve been doing with your life up until that very moment. She’s a typical girl from Hackney who drinks ginger and lemon tea on stage and swears like a trooper (when her Mum isn’t present at a gig) but she possesses an insane amount of knowledge when it comes to the state of society. Her music reflects that and in turn, her audiences leave from one of her shows that little bit more aware of what exactly is around them. As she performed her song ‘Black and Blue’, I could see the crowd studying the lyrics like they were required to sit the biggest exam of their life afterwards. It says a lot about an artist when they can capture the attention of an audience like that.</div>
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Watching Paloma perform instilled a level of calm within me that I only really understand after a couple of glasses of wine; with the likes of her flying the flag for British music and creating waves I know the future generation of musicians will be splashing around in sooner or later, I have 100% faith in Ms. Faith to bring the music industry back to the level it should be at. Forget artists shedding clothes to get attention, Paloma Faith managed to capture the audience with just her sheer presence upon the stage.</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-90672108924680975872013-06-09T09:40:00.002-07:002013-06-09T09:40:24.576-07:00That time I sat down with Delilah for IAmMusic.TV...<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #393a3a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px; margin-bottom: 16px; padding: 0px;">
When Aretha Franklin and Annie Lennox put their heads together and created ‘Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves’, I doubt they would have had the female artists currently tearing up the music scene in mind. However, this doesn’t make their genius lyrics any less relevant and as I sat down with Delilah, prior to her performance at LoveDough, I couldn’t help but think that us girls are smashing speakers up across the world in our own right. It’s almost like Franklin and Lennox pre-empted this rise up of creative women because with artists like Delilah in the mix, sisters really are doing it for themselves…and for the music industry, at the same time.</div>
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Having worked with artists such as Chase and Status, Wretch 32 and Skream, I can understand why her first single reached the top ten without even having an official release date. “With a release date, we could have maybe gone for a top five but we had a top five record album. It’s been good, it’s been organic. ” Humble as well as ambitious, Delilah is in possession of a talent the music industry so desperately needs. She’s aware she’s good at what she does but understands that there’s always a higher level for her to progress too. “I’ve been in the studio working on the new album a lot, I want to get it out by the end of this year. I’m excited about it; it’s dark, energetic…very me, but it’s also a progression.”</div>
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I understand ambition but I’m in awe of how determined Delilah is. It’s a rarity to find an artist totally focused on pursuing a career in an industry famed for being so fickle. “I’m not the biggest artist in the world yet but I feel like I’ve gained a lot of respect; I haven’t had a lot of negative feedback about my last record and considering it was the first one, we made all the mistakes we could possibly make so I’m quite happy with it.”</div>
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“Singing has always been my dream, there’s loads of things I’d love to do but I’ve always been someone who’s quite good at picking things up quickly. I’m quite driven and competitive…I don’t like to lose and I could have done whatever because I would have fought to make myself the best at it.”<br style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />Role models are hard to come by these days; the moment you’re in the public eye, your entire life is publicised in newspapers and magazines, every accessible medium possible. As I grew up, I saw Victoria Beckham’s battle with eating disorders documented on a daily basis, Britney Spears’ breakdown and headlines connecting drug use with practically every person to come out of the Big Brother house. However, this is yet another reason as to why Delilah is part of a revolutionary generation; it’s not a case of “bad publicity is better than good publicity”, it’s about doing what you love and making sure you’re the best you can be at it. As I chatted with Delilah, it struck me that I’ve never had my eyes opened to that sort of attitude…and it’s refreshing to look at it from this new perspective. Another reason why Delilah is providing the music scene with an attitude never really embraced before.</div>
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Recently within the music industry, it’s been a case of artists covering the same stuff we’ve heard before or throwing a rapper into the mix to shake things up a bit. But Delilah’s type of music is fresh, it hasn’t been churned out previously and it’s the perfect type of sound to hit the ever changing music industry because it has longevity. “I try to do something that isn’t throwback and doesn’t sound like an era. I’m a huge fan of voices and people who have a tone so I try to keep whatever it is in my voice that makes me sound like me.”</div>
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The current music scene is overcome by super talented women, girls embracing everything Geri Halliwell shouted about back in the 90s. FINALLY, girl power is taking over. “I have a lot of respect for artists such as Jessie Ware, Lianne La Havas, Alanis Morissette but I’m aware we all do very different things. For me, Amy Winehouse was the person who encouraged me into music.”</div>
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I always find the subject of Amy Winehouse quite a hard subject to talk about; she’s a musical legend, talented beyond belief and throughout my life, I’ve always listed Amy as one of my biggest influences – she did what she loved and did it well, the ethos behind Delilah’s music too. “I was really influenced by her. She looks different from other people and so do I. She sings weirdly and so do I. We’re both from Camden and she’s leaving such an amazing legacy behind her.”<br style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" />As we chatted, I realised Delilah has so much more to offer the music industry than I originally thought. She knows her stuff, she’s passionate and she’s always ready to embrace the different angles music consists of. “There’s a lot of people who can sing and I’m so aware of that but I just want to do something different. There’s probably millions of people who can sing better than me but they can’t sing the way I can. I’m focusing on individuality.”</div>
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There’s never been a better time for this sort of focus, what with the music scene embracing people like Iggy Azalea, Angel Haze and Kendrick Lamar. It’s not about doing what’s already been done three years previously, it’s about setting a better example for future generations – it’s about showing the world there’s more to music than Rihanna and Pitbull taking over the charts every Sunday. “I’m not really in the position to help people out but I can offer advice; I’m not where I want to be yet so it’d be crazy of me to think I could delegate the time and effort to take someone where they want to be but I have been doing this since I was 17. I know a lot about creating a sound. I think it’s important for artists to stick together a bit more.”</div>
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“There’s a few new artists massively capturing my heart; there’s one girl called Naomi, she’s hasn’t really got an artist name but I met her the other day and her voice is incredible. I’m going to do everything in my power to help her out.”</div>
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Whilst there’s no denying that she’s obviously talented, I love that Delilah’s honest enough to admit that she’s still learning and kind enough to want to help other’s out. It’s a rare combination in an industry full of artists all who assume they’re something special. Music is literally the love of her life but it’s not just singing that she can turn her hand too. “I’ve been playing piano since I was 12 but I was never classically trained. I started at about 6 or 7, stopped and then started at about 12 to 14. I stopped again, started smoking a lot and partying as you do when you’re 14 to 17 but I got back on it. I’m not as good as I could be but it’s going to take a practice.” I thought she was just being competitive when she said she liked to be the best at everything she tried out but it’s clear that competition isn’t the case; just pure determination, ambition and reaching heights others only dream of hitting.</div>
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“My main focus this year is creating a new body of work. I’ve got a couple of gigs coming up and I’m doing Isle of Wight Festival and Exit Festival as well but ultimately, it’s just about where this album takes me. Baby steps though.”</div>
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After our chat, I walked away with a little bit of a girl crush on Delilah, a crush I’m not afraid of admitting too. She is truly something spectacular; without a doubt, Delilah’s music is going to be providing the music scene with something new and exciting, a type of sound other musicians will soon be holding amongst their influences. Her only downfall? She’s a Kanye West fan…</div>
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“I don’t want to marry the guy, I just think he’s a musical genius. He doesn’t come across the best but I can’t deny his musical talent. As a lyricist, how he plays on words…he makes you listen to what he says and how he says things. I like that he’s a twat.”</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-42267209990606326332013-06-09T09:38:00.001-07:002013-06-09T09:40:53.759-07:00IAmMusic.TV: you know that time I interviewed Vince Kidd?<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #393a3a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px; margin-bottom: 16px; padding: 0px;">
“I got a bit of CD in my eye once and I have the worst eye-sight because of it; I was breaking a CD because I didn’t want my Mum to hear some of the lyrics I wrote ’cause they were dirty so I broke it and it pinged in my eye.” many artists say that music runs through their veins, but only Vince Kidd could say that music has literally embedded itself within his body. With two days to go before his performance at UD Live on 18th April, I caught up with the fella behind ‘The Voice’ and ended up falling in love with everything he stands for. What we all saw on the telly talent show is half of what Vince Kidd is capable of. With a mind a merge of creativity and business, it’s only going to be a matter of time before Vince, his army of fans and his music have taken over the world. Move over Flo Rida, Vince Kidd is in town.</div>
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“You have a massive problem with Flo Rida, don’t you? I love his song about blowjobs…” the precedent is set for my little chat with Vince and I’m well aware that I’m going to be in stitches for every second of it. It’s clear from the outset that he knows his stuff. He’s battled his way to where he is now, won over Tom Jones, Jessie J, Danny O’Donaghue and Will.I.Am on ‘The Voice’ and with plenty of touring experience behind him, his performance at UD Live is going to be a walk in the park. “I love being rebellious, I piss a lot of people of but fuck it, because I didn’t get this far by compromising. I never compromised when I was a little boy so I’m not fucking compromising now it’s my music.” it’s this attitude that has seen him attract a massive following, with a huge number of people admiring his honesty and feistiness when it comes down to his music. In this day and age, with so much music being created, you need to stand out. And if you don’t notice Vince when he walks through the door, you sure as will notice him when he opens his mouth.</div>
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It’s refreshing to come across an artist so certain of his purpose, so fixated on a goal but yet so clued up on the obstacles he’s inevitably going to face along the way. “When it came to my first E.P ‘Sick Love’, I listened to people because I was still learning the ropes with how to be business and be creative at the same time.” With ‘Sick Love’ marking Vince’s place in the music industry, it must be quite hard to shake off any stereotype/rumours started after his performance on ‘The Voice’. “I was interviewed by somebody the other day who was like “you came from The Voice?” and I was like “yeah but I didn’t come from The Voice, I was involved in music beforehand” but if that’s all people have seen of me, I think they would assume that I’m a puppet, not that musical and just a singer as opposed to being 100% involved in my music. Which I am. I love the creative side of this business, it’s what fucking turns me on.”</div>
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I’ve always questioned television talent shows, purely because I used to think it was the easy way into a really hard industry to break. But witnessing how difficult it is to be heard in a business where all everybody wants to do is sing, I completely understand the justification of why shows like ‘The Voice’ and ‘The X Factor’ are seen as an entry point. And chatting with Vince, I realised that it’s not just about a starting position, it’s the exposure to potential fans as well. “It didn’t bring me connections ’cause I already had those but I learnt a lot. I didn’t need to go on there to beg for a music producer but it gave me amazing fans. My fans are so selfless. They remind me why I’m doing this. ” and for anyone who Tweets Vince, be warned. “In this day and age, Twitter means you can’t be mysterious but you can use it wisely and it is a chance to get to know your fans. Sometimes if I’m bored, I stalk their pages. I read their tweets and see their mannerisms. We all talk the same way now, it’s weird.” He claims to be “a bit of a lone ranger”, but given that a new ‘Vince Kidd’ language seems to have been discovered, I’m not quite sure how much of that I believe.</div>
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“The only thing I didn’t like about going to stage school was that they’re trying to make you like somebody else and I was never like that, I’ve never fitted in. I’ve always had friends but I mean in the sense like the performance side of things, I’ve always been different to everyone else. I didn’t fit in with the theatrical side of things, I’ve always been a bit weird.” wearing a string vest, sporting iced blonde hair and numerous piercings, I can understand why. But the beauty of Vince Kidd is that he’s confident within himself and he’s an ambassador of being comfortable within your own skin – a lesson many young people today need an education in.</div>
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Part of a the next generation of musicians to be combating such a tough industry, Vince grew up surrounded by artists such as Etta Bond, Delilah and Vanessa from the Saturdays. “It’s wicked, it’s not competitive because we’re all mad different. One of our guys in our friendship group plays Michael Jackson in Thriller, so we’re all in different lanes. Vanessa’s in a girl band and Etta is doing something on a completely different spectrum, so it’s not competitive at all.”<br />
So it must help being surrounded by people who understand the pressures of the music industry and the lifestyle it brings with it? “My family sort of do, but it’s a lost for them to get their head around. Sometimes I’m waking up as they’re coming in from work and my Dad’s a bit like “what the fuck?” – he always says to me “you haven’t worked a day’s hard work since you were 16″ but they’re quite supportive though. My Mum’s really supportive cause she’s a typical caring Mum but my Dad’s like “yeah, I’ll give you some credit when you bring home some money”, that kind of thing.”</div>
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It’s not just making music that Vince loves, but listening to it as well. “I’m really dramatic when it comes to music, my Dad used to call me Dramatic Harry because I love people like Michael Jackson and the great rockstars. But growing up, I listened to a lot of Amy Winehouse, I love her and she was just completely herself. She just made the music she wanted to make and you’d hear her on the radio and it would seem a million miles away from all this Flo Rida bullshit.”</div>
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By the end of the interview, not only have I managed to get Vince to admit his true feelings about Flo Rida, but I’ve also received an invite to UD Live (“come and find me at the bar, we’ll drink tequila!”) and discovered his latest project with Vanessa, from The Saturdays, could cause a little controversy. “May 25th sees the release of my 2nd E.P that I’m dropping which isn’t going to be a commercial release because I just wanted to release something for my fans prior to putting the lead singles out, like a pre-release. It’s got some cool collaborations it though, we shot a video last week with Vanessa which was great. It’s a very different side to her, which I love but it could cause a little controversy. I can’t say anymore then that as I can’t give too much away but the video will be out soon.”</div>
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With UD Live in two days time, I wondered Vince if was nervous about performing – wait, this is the guy who thrives off of touring, worships his fans and loves the drama of performing. Of course he isn’t “I’m excited. I love performing and it looks like it’s going to be a really good night.” — and a good night it will be, especially when I get Vince drunk enough for him to admit to the controversial aspects of his upcoming video…</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-38219834921878264492013-06-09T09:37:00.002-07:002013-06-09T09:41:06.614-07:00IAmMusic.TV: Tape Deck Heart - Frank Turner<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #393a3a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px; margin-bottom: 16px; padding: 0px;">
“Blacking in and out in a strange flat in East London, somebody I don’t really know gave me something to help settle me down and stop me from always thinking about you.” – I don’t know about you but when the opening track to an album touches on drug use, East London and constantly thinking about somebody, it usually has me hooked. There’s something relatable about doing stupid things in random places to help you in doing an ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind</em>‘, right? Or is that just me?</div>
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Anyway…’<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Tape Deck Heart’</em> is probably the best thing Frank Turner has ever created. Unless he’s a dad, in which case his offspring will always be the greatest byproduct, but in a situation where he’s childless, ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Tape Deck Heart</em>‘ wins. I’ve been a massive fan of his since about 2008, when somebody I didn’t really like posted the link to ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Reasons Not To Be An Idiot</em>‘ on their Facebook. Now, I really wanted to dislike it, to be able to slate their music taste like the judgemental 15 year old I once was but that was definitely not the case. I fell in love with Frank’s philosophical honesty, his lyrics that remained in your head for days after you’d first heard them and the way the majority of his songs always sound like a drunken rant. Although every single one of his albums have been completely on point and beautifully created, ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Tape Deck Heart</em>‘ is one that particularly stands out for me, as my favourite. Maybe it’s the mix of acoustic-y ballads such as ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Good & Gone’</em>, anthemic tunes reminiscent of an early creation of The Sex Pistols (before they got too ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Never Mind The Bollocks</em>‘) like ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Recovery</em>‘ for example and songs that draw inspiration from Frank’s own political musings – ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">The Fisher Kings Blues</em>‘ being my favourite; “and though it seems a little strange to me, people never really change, it seems. We’re all broken boys and girls, at heart, come together, fall apart.”<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;"><br style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;" /></em>I mean how can you listen to these lyrics and not feel the need to high five the person next to you, simply because it seems song writing is back ON track? Forget whichever rapper is top dog at the moment, singing about popping bottles or going hard because he won’t go home…Frank Turner has just created one of the most beautiful albums I’ve witnessed to be released in the last 20 years and it’s time we all played it, REALLY fucking loud. Let’s take solace in the fact that we’re all a little bit messed up, we all like to drink too much and end up confessing secrets to a stranger in a dirty old bar and we all regret it the next day…but Frank Turner has just released an album that says everything we all need dutch courage – or five whiskeys – to say. Finally we can all just be honest with ourselves whilst playing songs such as ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Plain Sailing Weather</em>‘ and admit that it’s okay to be a bit of a fuck up – because Frank Turner has admitted it too.</div>
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‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Wherefore Art Thou Gene Simmons?’ </em>is another track that stands out for me, not only because it draws reference to the KISS member but because it’s a song that truly gives me goosebumps. Asking questions such as “does your mother know who you are now?”, this song makes you look inside of yourself, question exactly what Frank’s asking you and wonder how to make things better…it’s like self-help made simple, in a 3 minutes, 35 seconds song.</div>
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The entire album is ambiguous, and when you listen to it it’s easy to imagine it being played in an Irish pub in Stockwell at 2am in the morning, but it’s also easy to imagine Frank himself playing it at a festival at 6pm in the evening, to a crowd made up of drunken blokes confessing their love for their ladies and women looking for love in the form of the nearest bloke with a beer in his hand and the least amount of sunburn.</div>
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With ‘Tape Deck Heart’, Turner has unleashed a revolutionary album consisting of some of the best break-up songs and hedonistic pub anthems I’ve heard in a really long time. Similar to Billy Bragg, using metaphoric lyrics to captivate listeners, balancing heartache and humour with exceptional precision, Frank Turner has just created the perfect album for a Saturday night singalong, easing you gently into a 22 track headlock from the get go.</div>
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Destined for audiences over the world to be singing, crying and laughing along with it, I’m not entirely sure which genre ‘<em style="border: 0px; margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Tape Deck Heart’</em> best fits into: punk, folk, indie, punk rock… Frank Turner is one of the few artists who can maintain the camaraderie of a genre so confusingly honest that you need a bit of a laugh to accompany the strength of the truth, whilst highlighting it’s more rebellious aspects as well. It’s not everyday an album is created that makes you crave the grittiness of the truth in such a dishonest world, alongside a pint of Guinness but I’m certain Frank Turner has just come to the rescue.</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4753226248828016762.post-58801890475111500742013-06-09T09:36:00.001-07:002013-06-09T09:41:19.813-07:00IAmMusic.TV: Zach Sobiech, the coolest dude.<div style="background-color: white; border: 0px; color: #393a3a; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, Tahoma, sans-serif; font-size: 12.727272033691406px; line-height: 17.27272605895996px; margin-bottom: 16px; padding: 0px;">
Today, I was sat at work complaining about some of the shitty jobs I have to do in order to pay my bills; I have a cool job and I couldn’t ask for a better manager but sometimes, the fact that I’m not spending my days writing for a huge newspaper, overlooking the New York skyline, gets to me a bit. But then I saw this link pop up on my Facebook and suddenly, everything was put into perspective :::</div>
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<a href="http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-just-died-what-he-left-behind-is-wondtacular-rip" style="border: none; color: #393a3a; margin: 0px; outline: none; padding: 0px;">http://www.upworthy.com/this-kid-just-died-what-he-left-behind-is-wondtacular-rip</a></div>
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Zach Sobiech is an absolute hero; the link above documents his journey in a way my words could never do. At 17, he was diagnosed with terminal cancer and his life was given a deadline. Instead of putting a limit on the amount of wonder he could create, Zach dreamt big and used music as something for his family to remember him by. He created ‘Clouds’ with one of his best friends and in turn, they created something truly spectacular.</div>
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Music totally has the power to change the world and Zach’s story proves this. His family and friends will ALWAYS have something to remember him by and his legacy lives on through his creations. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt from the above, it’s that you should never under-estimate the beauty of something so simple. Music is something we all take for granted, on a daily basis, but it’s also something Zach’s family and friends will never be able to listen to in the same way again. ‘Clouds’ is beautiful; it’s inspiration at it’s most raw and powerful source.</div>
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Yes, we all have bad days and sometimes, we spend a little too long focusing on the negative…this is completely normal, if you’re human. But watch the video and get to know Zach’s story; I, for one, sat in awe as I watched it and realised that it’s about time I showed some gratitude towards everything my life is about. I’m lucky I’m in the position to be able to be writing about Zach’s story, regardless of whether I’m overlooking the New York skyline or the streets of South London.</div>
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Thank you, Zach Sobiech, for creating something so amazing, so inspiring…and for letting us watch, and listen, to your story. So many hearts are being touched over the world right now, with your music.</div>
Victoria Hannahhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10806680126140757161noreply@blogger.com0