"Does growing up mean growing apart?" - Goose - Dawn O'Porter

It's always hard writing about something that plays such a huge role in your life; for me, I can never find the right words to express how passionate I am about something and, in turn, end up ruining up whatever it was that I was trying to say.
However, I was recently given the opportunity to review Dawn O'Porter's latest novel, 'Goose', and I promised myself that I wouldn't mess it up.

Dawn is one of my biggest writing inspirations; she has been since I first read her material in Stylist magazine, so obviously it's a pretty big thing, for me, writing about her words. Let's see if I can do them justice...

From about the age of four, friendship is a huge part of any girl's life. If you're lucky, you could manage to stay friends with the same girl who you shared a book with in nursery - despite the obvious differences between you as you grow up. Or, you might find new friends, every week.
Regardless of the longevity of a friendship, every girl will understand the importance of their best friend. She's the person you call when you've got your boy troubles, your partner in crime when you're up to no good and your cheerleader when you're feeling a bit rubbish.

'Paper Aeroplanes', the prequel to 'Goose', introduced me to two people who reminded me so much of my best friend and myself that I almost felt as though Dawn O'Porter had been spying on me since birth.
When I finished 'Paper Aeroplanes', I didn't quite know what to do with myself for a little while. I found myself wondering, every so often, what both Renee and Flo would be doing: had Flo lost her virginity? Did Renee make peace with her sister? Had they made friends in their new school?
When I received 'Goose', I wanted to know the answers to those questions so badly, I finished the book within a day; there are obvious differences between the two books, but both are written so beautifully and capture the innocence of a teenage friendship so perfectly, O'Porter's writing made me want to go back to school and relive the beginning of some of my best friendships all over again...almost, I'm not sure I could handle double Science lessons again.

When you leave school, you realise that a lot tends to change within the first few months, mainly to do with friendships. As relationships and University/the future start to become priorities, friendships come to an end under the pressure of reality, outside of school. 'Goose' explores this intensely and I cannot credit O'Porter enough for capturing this transition so perfectly.
Both Renee and Flo are changing, since leaving school, and although it's in different ways, their friendship remains as strong as ever...or so it seems.

Flo begins to call her faith to help her through this particularly hard time and finds peace in religion. Renee finds sex. And plenty of it.
Already, the changes both Flo and Renee are undergoing could not be more different and as the book continues, we soon question whether the girls' friendship can withstand such changes.
At a time when you're desperately trying to find yourself, your best friend is the biggest comfort. However, Renee falls for Dean, who we're introduced to at the beginning of the book, and Flo thinks she could be falling for Gordon, the leader of a bible group she joins.
I don't know about other readers, but I instantly disliked both boys; maybe it's because I could see the distance they were placing between Renee and Flo or maybe it's because I felt as though neither were good enough for the girls. Whatever the reason, O'Porter tackles the issue of 'young love' so well, I almost wish she had been present during my first bout of heartbreak.

It's not only relationship issues that cause trouble between our two protagonists; family issues, school work and impending plans soon raise their head to create more negativity between the two girls.
Not only did O'Porter make me wish that 'Goose' had been written four years previous, so I could use it as a manual when undergoing these sort of changes myself, but I wanted to reach into the pages and tell both Renee and Flo to stop taking each other for granted.
I am so lucky that some of my best friendships have withstood the trials of time and whilst reading 'Goose', I grabbed my phone after every couple of pages to remind my closest pals of how much I loved them for putting up with me.

I believe this is one of the main reasons as to why 'Goose' struck such a chord with me; it's real, raw and realistic. Every girl can resonate with the friendship set out between Renee and Flo, especially throughout the book.
'Goose' embraces all of the issues the majority of girls have to go through as they grow up and it teaches us to disregard the embarrassment, or taboo, that comes attached to them.
O'Porter doesn't shy away from any topic, ranging from 'fanny farts' to wanting a boy who doesn't want you back. In today's 'cotton wool culture', it's rare to see such topics dissected in such detail but boy, am I glad they are.

Growing up, I never once read a book that tackled what I was thinking in as much detail as 'Goose' does; it doesn't hold back on the frustrations, or the beauty, of a realistic teenage life. This is something O'Porter manages to capture excellently within her writing; it's the reason 'Paper Aeroplanes' was such as a hit and it is the reason why 'Goose' will be flying off of bookshop's shelves.

In my opinion, I loved seeing how much the girls change from the start of the book to the end; Flo changes dramatically, from finding a relationship with God to making other friends, outside of her friendship with Renee. She develops a confidence that is so raw and fresh, it made Flo's journey almost addictive. Her need for 'something more' is so apparent, you can't help but read on.

Renee's journey, on the other hand, is one that is quite simple: she will always want more. She is never satisfied by what she has, apart from her friendship with Flo, that everything begins to seem inferior. It takes a dramatic event in the book - which I won't ruin for those who are yet to read the book - for her to realise her friendship with Flo is more important than a relationship with a boy, 'cool' new people and sex.

The relationship between Renee and Flo does start to disintegrate throughout 'Goose' but by this point, most readers are already hooked. We've all been there, we've all lost - or started to lose - a best friend because of our own ignorance and thankfully, O'Porter manages to cease any potential heartbreak.
Renee and Flo's friendship becomes more 'adult', more serious; less 'you're my best friend because you helped me when I was drunk' and more 'you're my best friend because I actually don't know how to live without you'.
Both girls are looking for something outside of their friendship, that they soon realise lies in each other.

The contrast between the girls is huge and quite extraordinary; Renee and Flo find confidence in different things (faith vs boys, school vs adventure etc) and their friendship is a constant reminder that sometimes, the simplicity of a friendship can be the most beautiful thing about it.

Despite the second half of the book seeming almost rushed - or maybe I just wanted it to go on for much longer? - compared to the first half, 'Goose' combined being perfectly complex and flawlessly simple in one go. There's something about the voices of the main characters that is almost addictive; I didn't want the book to finish because I wanted to find out how Renee and Flo's friendship develops.

Whilst the plot does get thicker as the story unfolds, there are moments of lucidity that remind us what the book is all about: a friendship that withstands the true tests of reality, despite everything being against it.
Having finished the book, there are moments every so often when I close my eyes and I'm reminded of Renee's birth control situation, Flo using Dirty Dancing as a seduction technique and Aunty Jo's geese.
Not many books have the power to continue captivating their audience once they've finished, but this is something I am in total awe of Dawn O'Porter for being able to do.

I would be quite happy to lose myself in Renee and Flo's world over and over again; one of my favourite things about the book was how it kept reminding me not to take my own friendships for granted, how lost I would be without one of my best friends and how tough it was growing up.
I can safely say that I don't know who I would have become if it wasn't for my own friendships like Renee and Flo's, and I recommend 'Goose' to every single woman - regardless of age - out there. In actual fact, I'd recommend it to boys too because it doesn't matter which gender you are, friendship is something we shouldn't take for granted. Ever.

Dawn O'Porter deserves a huge amount of acclaim for this brilliant, brilliant book; I want to drink cocktails with her and continuously thank her for creating such an amazing piece of writing.
Not many people have a way with words like O'Porter does but, as most of her writing seems to do, 'Goose' has left me speechless.
When I grow up, I want to be Dawn O'Porter, please.

Find Dawn O'Porter on Twitter: www.twitter.com/hotpatooties
Order 'Goose' (or 'Paper Aeroplanes') here: http://www.waterstones.com/waterstonesweb/products/dawnoporter/goose OR here: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Goose-Paper-Aeroplanes-Dawn-OPorter

2:53am

You can't force yourself to love someone.

You can't sleep with them to "see what it feels like", 

especially when they've told you on numerous occasions that 

           they love you. 

They love you at 2:53am, they love you when you've taken too many drugs and can't walk properly, 

they love you when it's time to go to the party and when it's

time to leave. 

    They love you when you're sat in Nando's on a Saturday afternoon.

You can't sleep with them, to see whether you can love them back. Love doesn't mean exchanging 

         bodily fluids...at least, 

       I hope it doesn't.

                               

more than friends.

                                                        You don't spend days in bed with *just*...anyone?
I don't let *just* anyone see me when I'm sick.
                                                                                           The reality is we just fuck. With each other's
                                                                                                                     minds, as well as our bodies.

                                                                                     
                                                        I've never been a fan of reality.
When anybody mentions your name, my head
                                                                     gets confused, like when you see light after being in the dark for so long.

                    Your name doesn't sound as beautiful when it's on the tip of somebody else's tongue.

Flesh.

                                                                                      Let's just admit that we
                                   haven't got a clue what we're doing; we're just
              two people, touching bodies like we've never
                                         touched flesh before and hoping to God that we're doing it         right.

                                 
               

Blog Challenge #1: Eyebrows

Our eyes are apparently the window to our soul...which means we should have something excellent framing them, right? 

Which is why I'm baffled that so many girls have jumped on board this crazy fashion trend and messed about with their eyebrows. WHY WOULD YOU SHAVE THEM OFF?!

Up until I was about 16, I didn't realise eyebrow specific make-up even existed; my Mum was adamant that I wouldn't pluck my eyebrows until they grew so thick, they prevented me from seeing. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on how you look at the situation, I started to resemble Ugly Betty and left her with little choice but to hand the tweezers over to somebody professional. Hurrah, I was able to see again!

Now, I'm reasonably happy with my eyebrows; despite an over-plucking disaster in the summer of 2011, I'm able to maintain them on a day-to-day basis quite well - God bless eyebrow combs! When I'm going 'out out', I tend to fill them in a bit with Benefit brow zings, only because I wear quite dark eye make-up and my natural eyebrows just don't cut it. But overall, I haven't really got any complaints about the weird hair that grows above my eyes.

However, looking at eyebrows throughout the years, it does make me wonder how we ever got to where we are now; girls are leaving the house looking like they used a Sharpie to draw their eyebrows on. Some girls don't have any. Other's have dyed their eyebrows so much, it looks as though two slugs have just decided to camp out on their face. 

In the 1920's, it was the norm to have over-plucked, straight eyebrows. The thinner and straighter they were emphasised the look of worry on your face...and women had a lot to worry about during this decade (they were, however, given the right to vote!):

In the 1930's, the 'thin is in' look was still very much prominent. However, the difference between eyebrows in this decade and the 20's was the exaggerated height; women were permanently seen to look astonished:

Wahoo! By the time the 1940's had come around, women were slowly, but surely, embracing the more natural look. Tweezers were ditched and thicker eyebrows became the norm: 

Marilyn Monroe took eyebrows to a new level in the 1950's, personally my favourite eyebrow decade, with a thicker brow but a deeper arch. Audrey Hepburn, a huge eyebrow crush of mine, is a huge inspiration for women across the world during this decade. I don't think eyebrows get better than this:

The 1960's is my favourite decade simply because of The Beatles, the fashion and the casual attitude to psychedelic drugs...however, when we throw the evolution of eyebrows into the mix, I wish we could just skip this decade altogether. It was here that women started to shave their eyebrows off, favouring instead to pencil them back in in relatively thick strokes:

Going back to the natural-ish look, the 1970's put the ridiculous trend of shaved eyebrows to a close. Women favoured natural styles instead, leaning particularly towards an eyebrow with a round ball at the beginning of the brow...not my favourite, so I'm glad we saw this out:

My second favourite eyebrow era and all I have to say is THANK GOD FOR BROOKE SHIELDS. The 1980's were home to heavy, yet bushy, eyebrows and women across the world are throwing away their eyebrow pencils and leaving their tweezers at the bottom of their make-up bags:

Ah, Madonna. There's a lot of things I love this woman for and eyebrows are just the start; still taking inspiration from the natural look above, the 1990's saw eyebrows become 'cleaner', allowing the face to be 'opened up':

As the 90's drew to a close, the 2000's saw eyebrows follow the natural shape but take inspiration from the thicker, fuller look of the 80's. The Spice Girls all had excellent eyebrows. Julia Roberts eyebrows are one of my favourite things on this Earth:

So, how is it possible that we went from the above to this?!?!?!:

It's not even funny anymore when you think about what the next generation are going to be doing to their eyebrows; we need positive eyebrow influences, not women who think 'Darkest Black' Magic Marker is their perfect shade of eyebrow pencil. I'd erect a statute in honour of the eyebrows belonging to Audrey Hepburn, Brooke Shields and Julia Roberts if it meant women these days would stop taking a razor to their face and shaving away their eyebrows...only to draw them back on. It doesn't make sense to me...why not spend your time reading a book or eating really, really good food?

What women do their eyebrows will always baffle me, which is why I'm signing this post off with some of my own eyebrow role models. If you're even thinking about shaving your eyebrows off, PLEASE look them up on Twitter, beg them to give you their eyebrow care regime and follow THAT through instead:

Hayley Campbell - EXCELLENT.

Gizzi Erskine - BRILLIANT

19 months and 26 days.

London has been my home for the last 19 months and 26 days; it has been the backdrop to the majority of my greatest days and nights and the setting for a handful of my biggest falls. It's the city that still amazes me on a daily basis and also the city that drives me the craziest I've ever been.



When friends ask me "why London?", it's so hard to describe why this city means everything to me. I didn't move here to see my name written in lights, because all I want  is to see my name printed below a published piece of my own writing, whether that be in a newspaper or on a restaurant menu:

London is a greasy kebab shop. 

It's the song shared between the birds and the drunks walking home at 6am.

It's a waiter, calling me ma'am one minute and then asking to 'borrow' a cigarette the next.

London is a used copy of the Metro, sat alone on an empty tube.

It's a packet of metallic green 'Extra' chewing gum.

It's a bar of Terry's Chocolate Orange, eaten in secret as you wait for friends at the train station.

London is somebody following you home at night.

London is "ten Marlboro lights...and a lighter, please"

It's a used condom in the middle of the road.

It's a window left open during the night, wide enough for passersby to hear a couple's moans of pleasure.

London is listening to that couple.

It's two grams of cocaine just to get you through the night.

London is a sleeping tablet, and a dry mouth.

London is a can of Jack Daniels and Coke bought from the newsagents.

It's drinking a shandy on a cool summer's evening.

London is eating calamari overlooking the Thames.

It's G-A-Y on a Friday night/Saturday morning.

It's "it's not you, it's me".

A conversation remembered forever.

Roasted chestnuts served along South Bank.

A homeless man sitting outside Starbucks.

Fingerless gloves and short skirts.

Two for £10 burgers at your local 'gastro-pub'.

London is playing Arctic Monkey's album on the bus at 8:43am.

It's a fishfinger sandwich with ketchup and plastic cheese.

Buses that come every ten minutes.

London is an excellent transport system (we're supposed to say that).

It's falling in love with how somebody sounds at 5am.

London is foreplay on the dancefloor of a tacky nightclub.

It's Oxford Street Marks and Spencers for tea and cake on a Saturday afternoon.

It's arguing over religion with people you've just met.

London is vodka Red Bulls just as the night is coming to a close.

An attic flat in Brixton with four strangers.

It's the greatest love story ever told.

It's the loneliest story ever told.

London is working through your lunch break.

Sainsburys 'help yourself' salads.

It's introducing food into the bedroom to spice up your sex life.

It's bowling with strangers and your best friends rolled into one.

Vietnamese food with your manager.

London is tweeting when you're waiting for your train at night.

It's K cider to start the night off.

London is exactly like Christmas Day; you wake up and everything is amazing.

You eat six mince pies in a row, all of the Malteasers and the Galaxy Caramels from a tub of 'Celebrations' (because they're the best ones) and then start working your way through a selection box before you feel sick. 

It's opening your presents, full of excitement, before realising if you didn't drink so much, you could have bought it for yourself, saving your parents a little bit of money. 

It's being grateful and feeling guilty all at the same time. 

It's hiding the annoyance on your face when you realise somebody is always going to try and top your Christmas presents.

London is going to bed at the end of the day, feeling sick from too much food and too much joy. 

London is waking up on Boxing Day, realising you have to take the rubbish out.

Nirvana

Nirvana
nɪəˈvɑːnə/noun1.
(in Buddhism) a transcendent state in which there is neither suffering, desire, nor sense of self, and the subject is released from the effects of karma and the cycle of death and rebirth. It represents the final goal of Buddhism.

synonyms:

paradise, heaven, Eden, the promised land.