Monday, 30 April 2012
But I can't move the mountains for you.
If there's one thing I love more than John Lennon, it's a good ol' list; as long as there are bullet points involved, a list can be about anything and I'll take it on-board. If you want me to do something - write me a list. If you want to teach me something - write me a list. If you want me to listen - write me a list. I think lists are possibly the best communication form ever invented. No list has a limit and those bullet points are never-ending.
Between the ages of 14 and 17, I lived my entire life by a list. The technical term was a bucket list, and every single action I made would be because there would be something on this list that would benefit from that action. Losing weight? "Exercise for at least 60 minutes a day." Travel the world? "Save up at least £30 per month." Have a piece of my writing published? "Write everything down" (practise makes perfect, after all). When I reached 17, I realised I'd been living a pretty unhealthy lifestyle. I wasn't enjoying myself unless I was ticking things off this never-ending list. I discovered that there was a limit to this list, not in the obvious sense, but in a sense that I had to stop it taking over my life.
So I ripped it out of my journal, stuck it to my wall and vowed to attempt to live without it. I still wrote down my dreams and ambitions because it gave me something to look forward to or strive towards but it became less about ticking things off the list and more about gaining experience to add things to it.
My bucket list is now 3 pages long and when I'm drunk, I tend to try to get other people thinking about what would be on THEIR bucket list. It's a rather difficult task for somebody under the influence of vodka.
Why I'm writing this blog post though is to publish a list I haven't been keeping track of before. This list is a random, off the top of my head, spontaneous list; stating all of things I think I should know by now. I'm 19 and besides knowing that I want to write for a living, I have no idea what I want to do with my life - where I want to live, whether I want children, if I want to get married etc. So here's my "Things I Feel I Should Know But Don't Always Remember" list and I'm going to use it to catch myself whenever I feel I'm doing something I know I shouldn't be...which is quite often:
1) Who to trust with matters of my heart, soul and mind.
2) How to confront a friend without ruining a friendship
3) When to begin and when to stop.
4) Knowing when I've had too much to drink.
5) Knowing that when somebody offers me a rolled up £20 note and a line of cocaine, I should always say no.
6) How to get the perfect eyebrow shape to suit my face.
7) How to love, and appreciate, myself for my flaws.
8) Just because somebody pays the slightest bit of attention to me, it doesn't mean I have to sleep with them.
9) I can't change the shape of my body; I'm SUPPOSED to have curves.
10) The same does not apply for more than one chin. Put down the chocolate every so often.
11) Appreciate the people who accept me for ME. If somebody can love you for your flaws as well as your positives, they're 100% worth your time.
12) When somebody is in a relationship, don't think of it as a challenge. Accept it and move on.
13) One kiss has the power to change my life.
14) Never ever take people for granted; they could be gone in seconds.
15) Always appreciate other people's music taste. If somebody had told me 3 days ago that I'd be partying in underground tunnels, skanking to Skepta, I'd have laughed in their face. As it turns out, I had one of the best nights I've ever had...
16) There will be days when old habits will come back to haunt me. Don't dwell on them. Instead, think about how you're going to grow from them.
17) Boundaries are there for a reason.
18) How to spend time alone.
19) When to stop talking.
20) My life is not a storybook. Not everything should be written about.
21) Rules aren't always there to be broken.
22) My parents and brother will always support me.
23) Sometimes it's good to shake up the status quo. Break away from the norm and don't be afraid to fly.
24) Tattoos are permanent.
25) That my childhood and teenage years maybe not have been perfect but I'm entering adulthood and it's time to move on from the past.
26) People have the ability to fuck things up for the worst, but sometimes for the best.
27) Listen to others, the best lessons are those taught by other people.
28) Not everybody is going to like me.
29) Dreams are supposed to be big and frustrating.
30) Hair dye will ruin my hair.
31) Appreciate other people's flaws.
32) Money is not the be all and end all of things. If somebody loves you when you haven't got a penny to your name, they'll love you the same amount when you have pounds.
33) Never apologise for something that isn't my fault but know that 'sorry' can solve a lot, when used properly.
34) Have substance, morals and don't be afraid to have an opinion.
35) Try not to regret anything. Everything happens for a reason.