"Music CAN change the world because it can change people."

What I love about this generation is it's ability to embrace all kinds of music; okay so it might be because Topshop have mass produced John Lennon inspired glasses and H&M have filled their stock with Guns and Roses t-shirts but nevertheless, most people these days have heard of The Rolling Stones.
I was brought up on a diet of The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac, Queen, Pink Floyd and Elvis, so 'old' music runs through my veins; I'd much rather be stood with the silver foxes watching Bruce Springsteen then grinding on boys with tags around their ankles to 50 Cent.

Don't get me wrong, I love contemporary music as much as the next person; I have the biggest crush on Ed Sheeran and I wish Adele was my best friend. In fact, as 27 million people tuned in to watch the Olympic Opening Ceremony on Friday 27th July 2012, it goes without saying that I much preferred the Arctic Monkeys' cover of 'Come Together' than Paul McCartney's solo of 'Hey Jude' - although there's no denying Sir Paul has a good head of hair.

In a world where Justin Beiber is seen to be as talented as Elvis and Miley Cyrus is considered to be on the same wavelength as Stevie Nicks, it amazes me that sometimes, such strong music can be overlooked in favour of 'artists' such as Flo Rida and Misha B.

In terms of talent, it's obvious that over the last 5 years we've seen a ridiculous amount of talent feature in the charts...but there has also been an equal amount of absolute rubbish. As much as I love the catchy "What she order? Fish Fillet" lyric in 'Paris' - Jay Z feat. Kayne West, it's hardly as lyrical as "I woke up this morning and I got myself a beer, the future is uncertain and the end is always near" sung by The Doors, is it?
I understand that there are amazing artists out there who get overshadowed by the likes of Chris Brown and Wiley in the charts and I don't deny that. But I do believe that artists such as Jim Morrison and Elvis, legendary artists who changed the way music is made in this day and age, get severely overlooked in favour of 'musicians' who barely deserve to have that title placed upon their head.

For the past 5 years, I've shunned genres of music such as R'n'B, Hip-Hop, Mainstream/Chart, Urban, Drum & Bass and Grime purely because I found the ideals of bands such as The Beatles much more believable. I didn't want to listen to a song to have innuendos about oral sex thrust in my face (Candy Shop - 50 Cent) especially because I find the idea of 50 Cent receiving oral sex hard to believe. The man might be clever when it comes to business but he does nothing for my sex drive. However, songs such as Strawberry Fields Forever and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds were what I chose to blast through my headphones. Although it's pretty obvious that drugs were involved during the writing of these songs, they contain a level of honesty and purity that I think certain genres of music lack right now.

Obviously there are some musicians who don't fall under this umbrella of mainstream beats, take Amy Winehouse for example, but the majority of songs that are in the current charts lack sincerity and genuineness that songs from other generations are covered in. I get that, usually ,this all depends on genre (the lyrics, beat and production are all going to be aimed at a target audience...not everyone is as picky as I am when it comes to music) but it's just a shame that pretty much every single song in the UK hit 40 sounds exactly the same as the one played before it.

We come from a time when you couldn't shut your eyes without seeing a musical legend; Michael Jackson, Madonna, Elvis, Jeff Buckley, Mick Jagger, Brian May, Freddie Mercury, John Lennon, George Harrison, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr, Ozzy Osbourne, Jimi Hendrix, Joni Mitchell, Johnny Cash, Eric Clapton, Bob Marley, Chuck Berry, Tom Waits, B.B King, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sammy Davis Jnr, David Bowie, Aretha Franklin, Tina Turner, Stevie Wonder, Bruce Springsteen and Bob Dylan. I've listed a fair few (I realise I've left loads out) but I'm trying to prove that in comparison to that list, who have we got from the past 10 years who is equally as talented? Sorry, Justin Beiber doesn't count...

Okay, so we have Amy Winehouse, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, Jay Z, Chris Martin and Eminem...there probably is more from the top of my head, I can't think of anyone else that'll go down as a legend within music. Justin Beiber has done nothing for the music industry in the past 5 years, not like Frank Sinatra did. Maybe we've just more willing to accept music because it's better than nothing or maybe our standards have dropped.

I just can't explain how disappointing it is to see trends on Twitter such as 'Justin Bieber for President' and 'Miley is better than Whitney' when in reality, Justin and Miley have done absolutely nothing for the music industry except give 12 year olds a really bad musical taste.
It'd be nice to meet a teenager who has actually heard of John Lennon through his music and not just because their favourite high street store stocks merchandise made famous by him...

Are you happy now?

3 nights ago, I was sat in my friend's conservatory, drinking Strawberry and Lime Koppaberg out of a can with Kasabian providing the backing track, surrounded by some of my favourite people. 4 months ago, I would have had to travel for 2 hours, fork out £31 for travel and spend an hour packing a suitcase in order to experience a night like this. I never once took it for granted because it didn't happen often. I guess I've been considered a bit like an adopted member of my friend's family because for as long as I can remember, I've always been invited to these kind of nights. Usually, I seem to drink too much, say things I regret the next day and wake up only able to remember half the night (it's funny how I always seem to forget the part where I take off my clothes and run around the garden...) but I wouldn't change that for the world.

Yesterday night, one of my favourite people on this planet came to stay at mine; this involved a 2 hour tidy up (everybody refuses to tidy up because we believe we didn't make the mess...so things just stay messy until we get an excuse like somebody coming to visit to do everything), sausage sandwiches, lots of chocolate and hilarious conversation. We went to bed telling each other stuff about our past, talking about music and laughing. It was one of the most inspiring nights I've had recently, just being around somebody with the same like minded ambition and mindset...I'm telling you, it's a killer what ambition can do to you.

Tonight, I'm sat on my bed eating Terry's Chocolate Orange and drinking hot chocolate. I'm catching up with writing that I've been putting off for a while and after a super hot shower and a hair wash, I feel as though I'm ready to take on the world. But having sat here for a hour or so feeling sorry for myself because I had writer's block, my hair wasn't going right and my stomach just wouldn't stop rumbling, I've had a shot of inspiration straight to my brain because it got me thinking.

These nights listed above don't happen often. I usually finish work at stupid o'clock, rush home to eat, exercise, have a quick shower and sleep. I never really get an opportunity to let my hair down or revel in girl talk. I'm beyond grateful for being surrounded by super cool people, each of them making the nights I've mentioned really special (big shout out to Terry, whose Chocolate Orange is probably the best thing to happen to me) but at the same time, within that hour when I felt horribly down just because things weren't going my way, I discovered that MAYBE I do take things for granted.

For example, for the past 4 years I've wanted to move back to London. I moved back here 4 months ago and yet I've just found myself complaining about how lonely I am now I've moved 64 miles away from what has been my daily life for the past 8 years.
I have a brilliant job. Fair enough, it's not exactly what I want to be doing for the next couple of years, let alone for the rest of my life but for now, the money's alright and I've met some pretty cool people through it. But I've just sat here and contemplated calling in sick tomorrow purely because I'd rather spend all day in bed, watching daytime TV and eating chocolate...I won't call in sick but I can't tell you how tempting it is.

All of this crazy thinking made me realise that are we ever truly happy? We give ourselves what we want, or what we think we want yet we'll always manage to find obstacles to put in our way. We need something to moan about, something to complain about when somebody asks "are you okay?". Despite the serious lack of romance in my life and the fact that Victoria White, Jo Elvin or Caitlin Moran haven't e-mailed me begging me to become their writing sidekick, I have the majority of what I could possibly want, and need around me.

A roof over my head, food in my fridge (kind of...do cheese slices and a yoghurt count?), a working shower, clean water and some form of entertainment to keep me occupied.

Why is this never enough though?


P.S I've attached my new favourite song because I think the lyrics are breathtaking. Listen, you'll love it.

That I would be good whether with or without you

Since moving to London, I've learnt a lot. I've learnt the skills of a new job, I've learnt how self destructive my mind really is, I've learnt how to change that, I've learnt when to keep my mouth shut and when to speak up, I've learnt that exercise really is good for you, I've learnt that being vulnerable isn't necessarily a bad thing, I've learnt that I still have a long way to go, I've learnt how to manage my money (kind of), I've learnt to broaden my horizons when it comes to music, I've learnt that sometimes people just need to talk, I've learnt that I'm excellent at hiding things and keeping secrets, I've learnt that making coffee is a skill of which I've practically perfected, I've learnt how to eat at my desk without my manager seeing it, I've learnt how to deal with certain people and most importantly, I've learnt exactly who to waste my time with.

I'll be the first person to admit that at times, I can be stupidly naive. The minute somebody pays me the slightest bit of attention, I'm their's. I've always thought that everyone has the ability to be nice and thoughtful and caring and lovely. I've allowed myself to be sucked in by that thought; I'm now realising that this really isn't the case.

I've met 4 people here who have changed my world for the better, really and truly. They're another blog post entirely but they've opened my eyes properly to the world around me.

I'm learning, slowly, but surely about who really matters, who truly cares and who I can live without. It's a horrible process but one I'm learning from, constantly.
It's the people who text you at 7am in the morning just to say "have a good day", the people who know exactly what to do and what to say when you're feeling a bit down, the texts saying "you're doing great babe" when you need a little bit of reassurance, the random messages and phone calls reminding you that you're loved, albeit if it is by your Mum, the invitations, the people who arrange events just to give you something to look forward to, the people who brighten your day the moment their name flashes up on your phone, the ones who put you first, the ones who ask if you're okay, the people who will listen to you moaning and make you fajitas for no reason. These people matter.

I've been naive in the sense that the people I've thought, for so long, would be there for me when things got a little tough, are the ones who haven't. Yet I've still held a torch for them. I've made excuses and tried to come up with reasons as to why things have changed but there's no right or wrong; people change and the most you can do is accept it.

Accept it, appreciate those that do all the above and understand that sometimes, people come into your life for fleeting moments to teach you little lessons. Nothing is forever and it doesn't have to be. Friendship is sacred regardless of how long it lasts.

I'm getting there when it comes to learning this. I'll get there.

11 things.

The funny thing about this post is that I started writing it with '10 Things I Hate About You' in mind; one of my best friend's just posted a similar blog and I woke up to a text saying "it helps xxx" so I thought I'd give it a shot of my own, considering I spent last night basically in tears because of the person this is about. But as I started writing it, '7 Things I Hate About You' - Miley Cyrus popped into my head and I was instantly reminded of another bullet point that goes against your favour. So I changed the title to 11 things because it makes more sense. These are the only 11 things I can think of and trust me, it was hard even thinking of these. I don't want to hate anybody - that's not my style - but know that these things just take me right back to square one where you're concerned. Let me hate you, just for these 11 things please, because it's all I've got: 

1. Your ability to make me question every single one of my morals.

2. The way you make me laugh all the time; I just want to be able to be angry with you for more than 5 seconds.

3. Your car.

4. How big of a part you have in my life, whether I like it or not. I can't change that.

5. The way you know what I'm going to say, waaaay before I've even said it.

6. How you know me better than I know myself sometimes.

7. The way you'd order the drinks I hate whenever we went out so I couldn't drink your drink as well as my own. Nice way of preventing me from getting too drunk there.

8. How most people fall in love with you the minute they meet you.

9. Your ability to make me the happiest I've ever been and also the saddest I've ever been as well, in the space of 10 minutes.

10. How much you still inspire me. 

11. The way, even now, you make me think of cheesy pop songs. 

IAmMusic.TV

Just before Christmas 2011, I started writing for a blog that goes by the name of IAmMusic. It combined unsigned artists, new and unseen videos, fresh talent and wicked competitions that allowed readers to win tickets for hot gigs and events. I've always been passionate about writing and that passion has always coincided with music so being able to combine both of them when it came to writing for the site was really a dream come true.

The creator of the site, Ms Carly Wilford, is as much of a dream as her website is; easily one of my favourite people, she's always hot on the freshest batch of talent and coolest events and she's bloody hilarious with it.
What with working a 37.5 hour week, desperately trying to have some form of social life and get my recommended hours of sleep, blogging can be such a hard task because sometimes, the words just don't come out right or my tiredness takes over and I find myself rambling about whatever/whoever it is I'm writing about. I'm SO lucky that Carly gets that because I'm able to write for the site whenever I can, there's no pressure whatsoever and the best thing about it is that I'm free (and so are the other bloggers) to publish any talented finds of our own.

It's pretty inspiring seeing how far Carly's got the site now; it's on the tip of people's tongues, the Twitter page has 8,000 followers and interviews include Tom Cruise, Russell Brand & Plan B. I know I'm bias when I say this but IAmMusic is going to be the hottest thing to hit your laptops/computers/eyes and I'm backing it all the way. I really do advise that you all go check it out, like the Facebook page, give us a follow on Twitter and get reading because it's gonna be HUGE.

Website: http://www.iammusic.tv/
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/groups/127747973995101/
Twitter: https://twitter.com/#!/IAmMusicTV

I hate that I'm not your's, I hate that you're not mine.

I go back to work tomorrow after the most relaxed 4 day weekend. I'm sat here listening to Frank Hamilton and I can't get one person out of my mind. It's the most frustrating feeling in the world because they're the last person I want in my head.

I can't get their smile, their laugh, the way they drink awful alcoholic drinks, their tattoos, their piercings, their voice, their stupid car, the way they make me feel like the most special person in this Universe, the promises they made me and the history behind us out of my brain. I could sit here for days thinking about how much I miss them and how they have the ability to make me go from feeling happy to sad within 2 seconds. Nobody gets it because it's such a fucked up situation but I don't even really want anybody else to understand because what we have is our's. Nobody else's.

I can't get silly little memories out of my head. Like the time you told me you loved me for the first time. That was nice. How nervous I was the first time we saw each other at our most vulnerable, sober and how calm you made me feel. How content you made me feel...

I wish this was different. I've never missed somebody more than I do right now. Let's just forget everything for a little while, please. I'd give anything to lay in bed with you, watching Miranda, eating pizza and making each other laugh, just for a night.

Smoke another cigarette but they don't taste the same...

...I know we had the map out, but 'lost' is my middle name.