Friday, 13 January 2012

Dream, aspire, want...

Ever since I can remember, I've always had really strong ambitions and aspirations. I've known I wanted to be a writer since the age of 8, I've known I wanted to travel the world since the first time I stepped foot in an airport and I've always known that eventually, with hard work and a lot of determination, I'd achieve everything I've ever dreamed of...and more.

However, while I'm yet to tick off everything single point on my 'Bucket List', I do know that I've got a lot to look forward too. I like dreaming and the feeling of being pushed forward by something out of my control. I like knowing that eventually my hard work will pay off and those late nights spent reading dictionaries (I wish I was joking) to improve my vocabulary will be oh so worth it. 

I want to be able to listen to the musicians my grandparents used to listen to and know who's playing. I want to be able to appreciate live classical music and know when I'm supposed to clap. I want to be able to understand modern music in general and *get* what the hell rappers are going on about. I want to know exactly what people see in musicians such as Bob Dylan and Michael Jackson. I want to possess well informed, yet radical, political ideals and understand every single piece of Martin Luther King's speech, not just the most publicised parts. I want to sit around a table debating over who really was the best Beatle and realise, only when the sun's coming up, that I've spent all night talking about John Lennon. I want to be able to use words like 'eponymous' with confidence and I want to learn to appreciate other languages besides English. I want to learn to appreciate fine wines and exotic liqueurs and be able to drink them without turning into a complete div. I want to eat strange and exotic foods like lobster thermidor and shark, things that shouldn't be edible and things that I can barely pronounce. I want to spend a summer's night on the beach, just because I can. I want to change someone's life the way I've had mine changed by somebody.  I want to walk around London and appreciate every single scene my eyes are lucky enough to witness. I want to be able to finish a Proust novel and comment on how well written it is. I want to be able to express just how much a book has changed my life. A book, a song, a lyric, a poem, a person; I want to be able to say that all of these things have touched my heart in one way or another, at one time in my life. I want to be able to say that the written word was my first love, but that the amazing, beautiful man stood next to me on my wedding day will be my last. I want to read books; second hand books that have lived a life before me, brand new books that are about to embark on a life with me, leather bound books, dusty books with *that* old book smell, expensive books of incomprehensible words, books with thin paper and books with dog eared pages. I want to make a difference to somebody's existence. I want I want to say that I've enjoyed the highs but appreciated the lows. I want to be able to say that I've made my parents proud. I want to be able to teach my own children the lessons I've learnt throughout my lifetime. I want them to think I'm untouchable, the way I look at my own mother...I want them to be proud of everything I achieved before I dedicated my life to making their's just as beautiful as my own. Most of all though, I just want an original idea. 

1 comment: