Wednesday, 25 January 2012
"If you really cared for me, Christ knows you'd set me free."
There comes a time in your life where realisation will, no doubt, come along, slap you in the face, down your drink and then flirt with the person you're with. It's eye opening, shocking yet quite liberating at the same time. Sometimes, in order to see what's directly in front of you, you need to take a step back and stare it straight in the eyes, grab it by the balls and fuck whatever you're meant to be realising right up.
Fuck it up as best you can.
Quit paying rent for 2 houses, stop splitting your time between different towns, sort your life out in one place before you move on to the next and don't think problems disappear over night. They don't. Address situations as they happen, don't let them strengthen because nobody, except Superwoman, is Superwoman.
While it seems quite daunting to 'free' yourself from everything chaining you down, it's thrilling to discover you actually have wings. And yes, you can use them.
"Let's just jump on a train, me and you, get out of here...let's go anywhere, it doesn't matter where we are, as long as we're together. Who cares about money and clothes, it's all about new memories, new places and new people. All we need is each other. Say the words and we'll go."
I'm a free spirit, I can't be in one place for too long and I certainly can't be tied to one person for more than one night. Some people could argue and say that I'm a commitment-phobe but I don't agree. I want to experience as much of this beautiful thing we call life as I possibly can. If that means travelling around the world until I've tasted every single ice-cream flavour or hitch-hiking through Europe to find out whether it's French men or Italian men that give the best oral sex, if that's all considered life experience then I'll throw myself at it as hard as I can.
The idea of being tied to one person scares me, it actually petrifies me. That monster in my stomach that usually only comes out when I haven't eaten rears it's ugly head at the idea of commitment and I just know it's not for me right now. That's not to say in 2, 5, 10 years time, I'll feel exactly the same, 'cause I bloody hope not, but at this current moment in time, I'm more than happy with being a free bird. I've just discovered I have wings, why would I want to stop myself from spreading them and learning to fly?