Tuesday, 27 September 2011

Let me just clear this up: I LOVE MEN. I'm a big fan of their delicious smelling aftershaves, the way they're usually taller than me and their ability to transport me from reality to fantasy within a blink of an eye. I'd love to say that the latter is some sort of sexual reference, but fortunately for you guys (unfortunately for me), it isn't. What I'm talking about is something that sparked off a very interesting conversation with one of my best girlfriend's and what's left me feeling a little disheartened.

Earlier today, I sat down with Kath and like it does between most 18+ year old's, the conversation quickly turned to the opposite sex. We spoke about being swept off our feet, the butterflies you get when you meet somebody you can't imagine living without (and the caterpillars that come when you meet somebody you'd rather live without) and the words, the promises, the "I can't live without you" and "you're so perfect for me". We shamelessly admitted that we've both fallen for all of the things mentioned above and we both cringed when we realised that we'd both been taken for absolute mugs. "I can't live without you" - really? Where are you now then?
Don't get me wrong, I realise I'm 18 and the last thing I expect is a full blown romance, but I sort of expected these things to last until I'm at least dressed.

This conversation not only made me realise I should probably re-consider who I believe after a glass (or 4) of wine, but that I'm not the only one to fall for such words. I've watched every episode of Sex and the City and I've seen those 4 women bitch about men and their incapabilities until they're blue in the face but it never occured to me that I'd be in the same boat as them.
My Mum definitely didn't warn me that one day, I'd fall for somebody telling me I was their everything. Not going to lie, I don't think she thought it'd ever happen, she's seen me in the morning, and I don't think anything can ease the pain of realising you've fallen for a lie. I mean, carrying around that kind of title is lovely - imagine introducing yourself to people as "Hi, I'm Vicky and I'm XXX's everything" - but when you realise that besides you, this dude also has a fiancee and 2 kids..."everything" starts to lose it's meaning.

It took about 20 minutes of Kath using calming words, 2 cups of very strong tea and lots of chocolate to stop me from hysterically crying; not because I realised that I'd fallen for the most common lie (Kath and I googled it) but because how would I know who and what to trust in the future?

Men say that women are emotional, clingy and hormonal but have they ever stopped to think that maybe, it's because of them that we can be like that? I'm not trying to generalise or tarnish every fella with the same brush, because I realise that there are some lovely ones out there and I apologise to every single one of my ex's who brought me nothing but happiness, but I swear on John Lennon's grave that if I receive another text saying "PMT?" from a guy, I will happily throw my phone in their face.

I'm not expecting every lovely word somebody says to me to be a promise, heck I'm not even expecting these words to be said. But if they are going to be uttered, I beg that the promises last longer than the time it takes for you to rip my clothes off.

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